Trust me...

[noteasytobepink]

Who: Clarice and some kids! And maaaaybe the sheriff's department.
When: Some time after the first year of being stuck on Bill's world, just after she joins the sheriff's department after her florist job.
What: Being a deputy does NOT mean that she can't lie about things a little!

"Hey, you gonna be alright out there rookie?" The snickering was definitely something she could do without. "Those streets get tough about this time of day!"

She glanced up mildly at the rest of the desks around her before leaning down to tighten the straps on her boots. They were tight and double knotted, good. Same for the slow check of her belt and gear, then the brush of fingers up her buttons as she straightened. All in order, picture perfect, and even better everyone's gaze was shying away from hers as she looked around. Better. It was always easier to make the 'senior' people in any business uncomfortable than to try to start shit. Better they avoid ogling the sheriff's girlfriend than have her toss one or two out a window.

No matter how tiresome their joking got. "I believe I can handle myself," she noted mildly as she checked the end of her braided hair. Yes, still secure. All was well with the world. And Jamie was even blushing. Wasn't that cute? "Stay out of trouble oldsters, I won't be here to save you." Okay, maybe a little tail tweaking? A tiny bit.

Yeah, they were totally going to steal her desk chair or something. Or throw pencils at her. Or any number of non-lethal things that tended to make her giggle. Giggling was easy in Wheelsy. She made it out the door while the rest of the crew were arguing over who was actually 'old'. Rather than dwell on the minor victory she glanced up at swore. Almost out of time! "Nice one Clarice..." she muttered, stretching out into a run.

She'd make it.

Barely.

The school bell was ringing as she hopped the last fence across from the bus lot, and she barely beat the munchkins to the cross walk.

She'd laughed when Bill told her it was a necessary job. Really. Cross walks were kinda self explanatory and everyone in town knew where the crosswalk was. They wouldn't mow down kids on purpose, right? This world just...wasn't like that. "Alright, line 'em up kiddos!" she darted across the street to make sure they sorted into lines (lines were easier to handle, right?).

...did they even KNOW what lines were?! "NOT SO FAST!" She snapped, snagging one kid by his hood as he tried to dart across. "Police lady says she WILL dangle you if you try to ditch her!" JUST SAYING!

"BILLY STOP PUSHING!"

"I'M NOT YOU'RE JUST A SLOWPOKE!"

"YOU'RE GONNA GET ARRESTED!"

"Hey, hey Clarice?" She looked down, bemused as one of the youngest stopped in the center of the street to tug on her arm. "Hey, my brother says you're not really pink! No people are really pink!"

...right. "We're in the road," she pointed out. "Tell me that again when we're on the sidewalk okay?" Anything to keep them moving? Besides, that had been...unintentionally stinging. Real people COULD BE PINK. Or Blue. Or Green. Or any other color. Mutants were people too after all, no matter what various realities claimed!

Sidewalk, blessed sidewalk.

"So why are you pink?!"

Right. She sighed and sank down on her heels so that she could be on eye level with the kindergartner. "Well, can you keep a secret?"

"Yes!"

That was good. "I'm only a cop during the day," she admitted.

"So what are you at night?"

"A fairy princess. I'm hiding from an evil king who took away my castle so it's important you don't tell anyone okay?"

"Not even my brother?"

"Not even him. The evil king has spies everywhere and you don't him to hear you telling your brother right?"

The little girl dug her sneaker at the sidewalk for a moment then nodded firmly, "I don't want that. Can you do magic tricks?"

"Only at night." Vampire fairy princess? Sure.

"Do you have wings?!"

"...no. I was hurt and lost my wings. That's why Sheriff Pardy had to take me to the hospital."

"Ohhhhhhh...did it hurt? Did you get a shot?"

"Yes and yes, but it's okay, I'm still alive and that's what matters right?"

"If I'm really good can you show me some magic? I can stay up until eight on Fridays and Saturdays!"

"We'll see kiddo. I may need to do other things to keep everyone safe okay? But we'll see." She spotted the munchkin's mom coming up the walk and grinned, "remember, it's a secret."

"Okay!" And off she went.

Well then. She was betting it was only going to be a few hours before the sheriff's office got calls about corrupting the children or something but it had been fun! Show her some magic tricks indeed...all the tricks she knew weren't good for kids in a world like this one.

It was barely past school letting out so she decided to hang around and escort EVERYONE who wanted to cross the street. Why not after all? It was a SERIOUS job and such.

Wheelsy. Had to love it huh?

Comments

[noteasytobepink]

"I know they would," she admitted. She'd NEVER questioned that. "I just want to make sure that that isn't the FIRST option!" Because they should have better abilities than that!

It was a thing.

Yes.

"And no. Maybe a giftcard to the sporting good store though? Some nice new rifles people have been talking about..." she grinned inched just close enough to be fully leaning on him AND the hood. "And yes, I know. I'm terrible for you."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"You sure you don't just wanna torture folk?" he teased, because that could be a motive, she did say she was bored.

"Hmm... maybe. Or maybe I could swing tickets to a game or somethin'." Something affordable, since this would be coming out of his pocket. "A brand new car ain't an option, but I'm sure we could come up with somethin' nice."

His smirk grew, and he rested one hand on her hip above her belt.

"I didn't say you were terrible for me, just called you wicked, is all."

[noteasytobepink]

"You're actually suggesting I torture other people?!" She gasped softly, amused. "But I thought we were going steady!" What? IT SEEMED THE BEST RESPONSE OKAY?!

"I'll spring. You won't let me pay rent, so, let my paycheck to go to incentives." Equitable right? What did she need money for besides groceries at this rate? And if they got a decent freezer she could hunt enough to cut those costs as well!

And well, "I told a kid I was a fairy princess today, and the fae are terrible, fickle, and horrifying folk..." She crossed her leg over her other knee and grinned, TOTALLY FLIRTING WITH THE SHERIFF IN PUBLIC YES.

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill laughed at that, shaking his head. "If torture is that big a thing than as your boyfriend I'm gonna have to say no to you dishin' out to anyone else."

He started to shake his head to her offer, but, well, it was her idea, and he had the feeling arguing with her wouldn't change her mind, and letting her do it might make her happy, so he nodded.

"Alright. Just don't go overboard, okay?" He wanted to motivate his men, not spoil them.

"See, wicked, but ain't none of that terrible to me," he grinned, content to flirt right back probably until his brain caught up to the fact that flirting in public (and uniform) was what they were doing.

[noteasytobepink]

"Thought you'd see it my way," she chuckled easily. "I'm a one target kinda gal you know, only taunting and teasing one man in my life." At a time at any rate. She tainted and teased other people with COMPLETELY DIFFERENT INTENT!

"You get veto power on motivational prizes. And I get a taser." That was where negotiations started, right? Right.

Bah, they were consenting adults more than willing to point that fact out! What was there to be ashamed of? "Mmm, I see I'll have to try harder to keep my fairy princess badge," she laughed. "What would you consider terrible?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"That's good to know," he said with a chuckle. He rather liked being her target and wasn't really willing to give that up or share.

"Technically, if you get issued a taser you've gotta go through trainin' for it," he said, and winced. "An' that means gettin' tazed yourself."

In someone who made up the rulebook's mind that made sense. It was kind of why some of the other deputy's didn't carry one themselves.

"I don't see you doin' any of those things, an' I ain't gonna say just in case it gives you ideas," he replied, smug.

[noteasytobepink]

"You say that like I've never been electrocuted," she snorted. "And tazers aren't meant to fully immobilize a mutant. Biggest issue will be telling whoever is doing the testing that I have PTSD and combat reflexes so they get out of the damn way after setting it on me." Because she thought she'd handle a mild shock just fine? Best to warn anyway!

"Awww, you don't want me to have ideas?" she teased, pouting. "You know you're in for something odd like a fudge sauce war now right?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Tasers hurt," he said for the record. "An' what if I told you chances were I'd be the one who had t'do the testing?" He was her superior officer and all, and didn't much like the thought of electrocuting his girlfriend.

"Is fudge sauce war supposed t'scare me?" Because it totally didn't.

[noteasytobepink]

"Yes, they do," she agreed easily. "And if you can keep moving despite that then the monsters don't get you." Simple as that really. Whatever format the monsters came in, whatever powers they threw around, keep moving.

"And for the record I don't think you can do that kind of testing for me, we may have to go a county over to prevent a conflict of interest." JUST SAYING as sheriffs and deputies they could eke past the Police dating mandate, they weren't staties but anyone with a brain would call conflict of interest when it cam to Bill having to taze her.

Oh dear, he didn't take her seriously? "Just imagine babe. When you're alone. When you're vulnerable. When you should be feeling safe and secure there's the cool creep of fudge down your neck. How the hell did it get you in the car? At your desk. On the road up in the mountains..."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Fortunately for us we don't got monsters," he said, lucky them.

"Maybe. If that's the case than sure, you can have a taser. But if it comes to me havin' to do it I'm sorry darlin', but you'll just have t'settle for whackin' folks with your night stick or somethin'."

He arched a brow at her, edging on nervous now when she said it that way.

"Are you threatenin' me with fudge?" That was terrible, and cruel.

[noteasytobepink]

"Everything, and everyone, can be a monster in the right or wrong set of circumstances," she said it easily, by rote. A lesson to live by. A year of easy living didn't change the fact that his girlfriend was a vigilante-sometimes-terrorist used to a great deal of terrifying circumstance!

"Comes to that I'll taze myself Bill, don't worry." She wanted to a tazer now, just to say she had one and to use as a threat when she got more people running! "Harder to dodge that way too now that I think about it..." she mused.

"Yes!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

It being a year had convinced Bill that she was here now and that life of crazy worlds and terrifying circumstances was behind her. No more monsters.

"Ouch. Don't know if I could do somethin' like that myself." Because as he'd said before, being tazed Hurt.

He pouted at her and said, "That ain't nice." It wasn't nice to threaten your boyfriend with fudge.

[noteasytobepink]

Then how had she arrived? She didn't go to closed worlds, she didn't 'slide' to places that were balanced. Something was wrong. Something was always wrong, not to prepare for it was dumb.

"Well...I'm kinda crazy," she pointed out. "I don't have the same responses to pain as most." AT ALL.

"What? You don't like fudge babe? Who wouldn't want to lick you after fudge?" Seriously!

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill was an optimist, always was and would be. As far as he could figure she'd earned a spot in a 'peaceful' world, and it was just lucky for him that his was it.

"That you are," he agreed about her being crazy, and smirked.

"I happen t'love fudge, which is why sneak attack fudge is so mean." She couldn't rightly lick him at his desk now could she? Or rather, she shouldn't. Workplace etiquette and all.

[noteasytobepink]

Well, one of them had to be didn't they? She'd spent far too long in the field to ever be anything but prepared though!

"Hush, talk like that makes single men," she teased easily.

"No, sneak attack fudge leads to interesting things like 'how do I get home to shower without the guys guessing?' which leads to 'how soon does Clarice jump me when I get clear of work?' and such!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"And now you're threatenin' t'dump me for agreeing with you?" He asked, pouting again.

When she put it like that, sneak attack fudge didn't sound so bad.

"Alright, but how do I go about explainin' the fudge down my shirt collar if I do get caught?"

[noteasytobepink]

"Nope, for admitting I was crazy so easily!" she laughed. "Sorry, I'll talk to the doc again, see if he can make me sane and all..." yes, she was just teasing now. Bill just had a thing for crazy women, she could get that!

"And the explaining is easy. 'My girlfriend set booby traps. Sorry guys, cover for me' or something like that!" She held up her hands in air quotes, amused. "I'm easy to blame!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Doc's crazy himself, so don't know if he could help you," he replied, cracking a grin.

"But then I'd be admittin' my girlfriend got the best of me." He might never live the teasing down if he did that!

[noteasytobepink]

"Sweetie..." she murmured, leaning up to nuzzle his cheek, "you gave me permission to terrorize them into shape. No one would blame you." At all. SHE WAS SCARY

"And I like our doc, he has a sense of humor."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Hm, that's true. Sure would earn me lots of sympathy points, wouldn't it?" he chuckled.

"I like the doc, too, but you can't convince me he's got all his marbles in hand," Bill replied jokingly.

[noteasytobepink]

"I'm all about making sure no one envies you too much," she teased with a straight face. "And I like when people like you." It was just good all around that way!

"What's up with marbled by the way? I hear it all the time, buy, well, marbles are uncommon AND often nonsensical! Rainbows swirled glass ball? What does that say about a man as opposed to getting his job done with remarkable aplomb despite sudden pink mutant?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Well thank you," he chuckled. "I'm very likeable."

And so humble, too.

"Not sure where the sayin' came from, actually," he admitted. "Man does know his job, though. And he was a big help, so I won't hold a bit of crazy against him."

In truth Bill had a lot of respect for the doc, and owed him for a lot. It was because they were friends that Bill poked fun at the man, and he knew it.

[noteasytobepink]

"Besides, the game marbles, as I know it, involves throwing your marbles at others to steal ownership! You don't see crazy people running around stealing other people's sanity as their own!" she laughed, as amused by the silliness as anything else.

"I think that'd be closer to vampirism...and that's a wholllle different problem than an awesome doctor."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Maybe it has somethin' to do with keepin' your marbles in the ring. That's how you lose 'em in the game," and once they were gone it was often hard to win them back!

"No monsters," he repeated, mock stern. "Said that already, an' it includes vampires."

[noteasytobepink]

"Hmmm, that also implies that the reason people go insane is because other people make them insane!" she laughed. Not brain chemistry or bad circumstance, but brain thieves! "Wonder if there's any money in that..." she laughed.

"Hey! Not all vampires are monsters you know!" Most, sure, but not all!