Trust me...

[noteasytobepink]

Who: Clarice and some kids! And maaaaybe the sheriff's department.
When: Some time after the first year of being stuck on Bill's world, just after she joins the sheriff's department after her florist job.
What: Being a deputy does NOT mean that she can't lie about things a little!

"Hey, you gonna be alright out there rookie?" The snickering was definitely something she could do without. "Those streets get tough about this time of day!"

She glanced up mildly at the rest of the desks around her before leaning down to tighten the straps on her boots. They were tight and double knotted, good. Same for the slow check of her belt and gear, then the brush of fingers up her buttons as she straightened. All in order, picture perfect, and even better everyone's gaze was shying away from hers as she looked around. Better. It was always easier to make the 'senior' people in any business uncomfortable than to try to start shit. Better they avoid ogling the sheriff's girlfriend than have her toss one or two out a window.

No matter how tiresome their joking got. "I believe I can handle myself," she noted mildly as she checked the end of her braided hair. Yes, still secure. All was well with the world. And Jamie was even blushing. Wasn't that cute? "Stay out of trouble oldsters, I won't be here to save you." Okay, maybe a little tail tweaking? A tiny bit.

Yeah, they were totally going to steal her desk chair or something. Or throw pencils at her. Or any number of non-lethal things that tended to make her giggle. Giggling was easy in Wheelsy. She made it out the door while the rest of the crew were arguing over who was actually 'old'. Rather than dwell on the minor victory she glanced up at swore. Almost out of time! "Nice one Clarice..." she muttered, stretching out into a run.

She'd make it.

Barely.

The school bell was ringing as she hopped the last fence across from the bus lot, and she barely beat the munchkins to the cross walk.

She'd laughed when Bill told her it was a necessary job. Really. Cross walks were kinda self explanatory and everyone in town knew where the crosswalk was. They wouldn't mow down kids on purpose, right? This world just...wasn't like that. "Alright, line 'em up kiddos!" she darted across the street to make sure they sorted into lines (lines were easier to handle, right?).

...did they even KNOW what lines were?! "NOT SO FAST!" She snapped, snagging one kid by his hood as he tried to dart across. "Police lady says she WILL dangle you if you try to ditch her!" JUST SAYING!

"BILLY STOP PUSHING!"

"I'M NOT YOU'RE JUST A SLOWPOKE!"

"YOU'RE GONNA GET ARRESTED!"

"Hey, hey Clarice?" She looked down, bemused as one of the youngest stopped in the center of the street to tug on her arm. "Hey, my brother says you're not really pink! No people are really pink!"

...right. "We're in the road," she pointed out. "Tell me that again when we're on the sidewalk okay?" Anything to keep them moving? Besides, that had been...unintentionally stinging. Real people COULD BE PINK. Or Blue. Or Green. Or any other color. Mutants were people too after all, no matter what various realities claimed!

Sidewalk, blessed sidewalk.

"So why are you pink?!"

Right. She sighed and sank down on her heels so that she could be on eye level with the kindergartner. "Well, can you keep a secret?"

"Yes!"

That was good. "I'm only a cop during the day," she admitted.

"So what are you at night?"

"A fairy princess. I'm hiding from an evil king who took away my castle so it's important you don't tell anyone okay?"

"Not even my brother?"

"Not even him. The evil king has spies everywhere and you don't him to hear you telling your brother right?"

The little girl dug her sneaker at the sidewalk for a moment then nodded firmly, "I don't want that. Can you do magic tricks?"

"Only at night." Vampire fairy princess? Sure.

"Do you have wings?!"

"...no. I was hurt and lost my wings. That's why Sheriff Pardy had to take me to the hospital."

"Ohhhhhhh...did it hurt? Did you get a shot?"

"Yes and yes, but it's okay, I'm still alive and that's what matters right?"

"If I'm really good can you show me some magic? I can stay up until eight on Fridays and Saturdays!"

"We'll see kiddo. I may need to do other things to keep everyone safe okay? But we'll see." She spotted the munchkin's mom coming up the walk and grinned, "remember, it's a secret."

"Okay!" And off she went.

Well then. She was betting it was only going to be a few hours before the sheriff's office got calls about corrupting the children or something but it had been fun! Show her some magic tricks indeed...all the tricks she knew weren't good for kids in a world like this one.

It was barely past school letting out so she decided to hang around and escort EVERYONE who wanted to cross the street. Why not after all? It was a SERIOUS job and such.

Wheelsy. Had to love it huh?

Comments

[noteasytobepink]

Well, one of them had to be didn't they? She'd spent far too long in the field to ever be anything but prepared though!

"Hush, talk like that makes single men," she teased easily.

"No, sneak attack fudge leads to interesting things like 'how do I get home to shower without the guys guessing?' which leads to 'how soon does Clarice jump me when I get clear of work?' and such!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"And now you're threatenin' t'dump me for agreeing with you?" He asked, pouting again.

When she put it like that, sneak attack fudge didn't sound so bad.

"Alright, but how do I go about explainin' the fudge down my shirt collar if I do get caught?"

[noteasytobepink]

"Nope, for admitting I was crazy so easily!" she laughed. "Sorry, I'll talk to the doc again, see if he can make me sane and all..." yes, she was just teasing now. Bill just had a thing for crazy women, she could get that!

"And the explaining is easy. 'My girlfriend set booby traps. Sorry guys, cover for me' or something like that!" She held up her hands in air quotes, amused. "I'm easy to blame!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Doc's crazy himself, so don't know if he could help you," he replied, cracking a grin.

"But then I'd be admittin' my girlfriend got the best of me." He might never live the teasing down if he did that!

[noteasytobepink]

"Sweetie..." she murmured, leaning up to nuzzle his cheek, "you gave me permission to terrorize them into shape. No one would blame you." At all. SHE WAS SCARY

"And I like our doc, he has a sense of humor."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Hm, that's true. Sure would earn me lots of sympathy points, wouldn't it?" he chuckled.

"I like the doc, too, but you can't convince me he's got all his marbles in hand," Bill replied jokingly.

[noteasytobepink]

"I'm all about making sure no one envies you too much," she teased with a straight face. "And I like when people like you." It was just good all around that way!

"What's up with marbled by the way? I hear it all the time, buy, well, marbles are uncommon AND often nonsensical! Rainbows swirled glass ball? What does that say about a man as opposed to getting his job done with remarkable aplomb despite sudden pink mutant?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Well thank you," he chuckled. "I'm very likeable."

And so humble, too.

"Not sure where the sayin' came from, actually," he admitted. "Man does know his job, though. And he was a big help, so I won't hold a bit of crazy against him."

In truth Bill had a lot of respect for the doc, and owed him for a lot. It was because they were friends that Bill poked fun at the man, and he knew it.

[noteasytobepink]

"Besides, the game marbles, as I know it, involves throwing your marbles at others to steal ownership! You don't see crazy people running around stealing other people's sanity as their own!" she laughed, as amused by the silliness as anything else.

"I think that'd be closer to vampirism...and that's a wholllle different problem than an awesome doctor."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Maybe it has somethin' to do with keepin' your marbles in the ring. That's how you lose 'em in the game," and once they were gone it was often hard to win them back!

"No monsters," he repeated, mock stern. "Said that already, an' it includes vampires."

[noteasytobepink]

"Hmmm, that also implies that the reason people go insane is because other people make them insane!" she laughed. Not brain chemistry or bad circumstance, but brain thieves! "Wonder if there's any money in that..." she laughed.

"Hey! Not all vampires are monsters you know!" Most, sure, but not all!

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"I know if I ever go crazy it'll be people drivin' me there," he replied.

"Oh yeah? An' just how many vampires do you know?" Thinking about that, he shook his head. "On second thought, maybe I don't wanna know."

[noteasytobepink]

"I'll try not to be the one stealing your marbles?" she offered innocently. Innocently alongside a carefully quick lick of his earlobe! Only so much she could get away with in public after all.

"Enough. Including nonstandard types like those he need to drain energy to live, not blood, etc etc. Wonderful series of universes out there. Anything is possible." Like a planet of Hulks!

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Oh, I'm sure you'll play a hand, but I won't hold that against you," he chuckled, ducking with that lick and gaining that shade of red she found so cute again.

"Well, I'm just glad you didn't bring any of 'em with you." Bill wasn't equipped to deal with vampires, blood sucking or otherwise.

[noteasytobepink]

"Hey, science has never proven I'm a cause of insanity! SLANDER!" she giggled and slumped against him, kissing his cheek. "Cute when you blush babe." HE WAS!

"Didn't bring anyone," she noted softly. "Wasn't suppose to come here at all."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"An' just how many scientific studies have you been a part of?" he countered.

He would argue the blushing thing, but instead he leaned in and brushed his lips against her cheek.

"I know it might've been a fluke an' all, but I'm glad you came here."

[noteasytobepink]

"....you want a real answer to that?" she asked sweetly. ""It's not a pretty one." At all.

Awwwww! "Yeah, me too babe. Me too." Painful fluke but hey, what was a little pain and scarring sometimes?

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"I withdraw the question," he said diplomatically.

He smiled at her 'me too', and kissed her again.

"So then, you done keepin' people safe from becomin' street pizza? My shifts just about over an' I was here to see if you were interested in grabbin' a bite somewhere."

[noteasytobepink]

"Smart man," she nipped his lip and then leaned back on her hands to survey her little crosswalk domain. Hmmm, was she done?

"See, my boss said I'm off at five."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"He also said you just had to escort the kiddos, an' they're all gone," he countered, making a show of looking up and down the street to verify no wee ones were about.

"Plus, state says you get an hour lunch. Even the bossman can't get around givin' you that."

[noteasytobepink]

"Feh, lunch hours? So archaic!" she laughed, patting his knee before sliding off the hood. "Well, since you've come to remind me of the law, sir, I guess I'll have to go eat huh? Where to?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Eatin' lunch is archaic?"

He rounded the car to get the door for her, shrugging a shoulder.

"Wherever you want, darlin'."

[noteasytobepink]

"No, just being allowed to stop for one," she teased, sauntering over to the passenger side as she peeled her orange crossing vest off.

Slowly.

"Depends on what you're in the mood for...that isn't dipped in grease..." she laughed.

[wheelsy_sheriff]

He watched the vest come off, shaking his head to find focus again so he could keep up with the conversation.

"But grease is what makes good food."

[noteasytobepink]

"Only if you're working hard enough to burn it properly!" she countered, an old argument by this point but no less valid. "It has it's uses, sure, but not in all the circumstances civilized worlds seem to employ it!" It was just a bad body habit in some worlds!

"Fajitas?"