Trust me...

[noteasytobepink]

Who: Clarice and some kids! And maaaaybe the sheriff's department.
When: Some time after the first year of being stuck on Bill's world, just after she joins the sheriff's department after her florist job.
What: Being a deputy does NOT mean that she can't lie about things a little!

"Hey, you gonna be alright out there rookie?" The snickering was definitely something she could do without. "Those streets get tough about this time of day!"

She glanced up mildly at the rest of the desks around her before leaning down to tighten the straps on her boots. They were tight and double knotted, good. Same for the slow check of her belt and gear, then the brush of fingers up her buttons as she straightened. All in order, picture perfect, and even better everyone's gaze was shying away from hers as she looked around. Better. It was always easier to make the 'senior' people in any business uncomfortable than to try to start shit. Better they avoid ogling the sheriff's girlfriend than have her toss one or two out a window.

No matter how tiresome their joking got. "I believe I can handle myself," she noted mildly as she checked the end of her braided hair. Yes, still secure. All was well with the world. And Jamie was even blushing. Wasn't that cute? "Stay out of trouble oldsters, I won't be here to save you." Okay, maybe a little tail tweaking? A tiny bit.

Yeah, they were totally going to steal her desk chair or something. Or throw pencils at her. Or any number of non-lethal things that tended to make her giggle. Giggling was easy in Wheelsy. She made it out the door while the rest of the crew were arguing over who was actually 'old'. Rather than dwell on the minor victory she glanced up at swore. Almost out of time! "Nice one Clarice..." she muttered, stretching out into a run.

She'd make it.

Barely.

The school bell was ringing as she hopped the last fence across from the bus lot, and she barely beat the munchkins to the cross walk.

She'd laughed when Bill told her it was a necessary job. Really. Cross walks were kinda self explanatory and everyone in town knew where the crosswalk was. They wouldn't mow down kids on purpose, right? This world just...wasn't like that. "Alright, line 'em up kiddos!" she darted across the street to make sure they sorted into lines (lines were easier to handle, right?).

...did they even KNOW what lines were?! "NOT SO FAST!" She snapped, snagging one kid by his hood as he tried to dart across. "Police lady says she WILL dangle you if you try to ditch her!" JUST SAYING!

"BILLY STOP PUSHING!"

"I'M NOT YOU'RE JUST A SLOWPOKE!"

"YOU'RE GONNA GET ARRESTED!"

"Hey, hey Clarice?" She looked down, bemused as one of the youngest stopped in the center of the street to tug on her arm. "Hey, my brother says you're not really pink! No people are really pink!"

...right. "We're in the road," she pointed out. "Tell me that again when we're on the sidewalk okay?" Anything to keep them moving? Besides, that had been...unintentionally stinging. Real people COULD BE PINK. Or Blue. Or Green. Or any other color. Mutants were people too after all, no matter what various realities claimed!

Sidewalk, blessed sidewalk.

"So why are you pink?!"

Right. She sighed and sank down on her heels so that she could be on eye level with the kindergartner. "Well, can you keep a secret?"

"Yes!"

That was good. "I'm only a cop during the day," she admitted.

"So what are you at night?"

"A fairy princess. I'm hiding from an evil king who took away my castle so it's important you don't tell anyone okay?"

"Not even my brother?"

"Not even him. The evil king has spies everywhere and you don't him to hear you telling your brother right?"

The little girl dug her sneaker at the sidewalk for a moment then nodded firmly, "I don't want that. Can you do magic tricks?"

"Only at night." Vampire fairy princess? Sure.

"Do you have wings?!"

"...no. I was hurt and lost my wings. That's why Sheriff Pardy had to take me to the hospital."

"Ohhhhhhh...did it hurt? Did you get a shot?"

"Yes and yes, but it's okay, I'm still alive and that's what matters right?"

"If I'm really good can you show me some magic? I can stay up until eight on Fridays and Saturdays!"

"We'll see kiddo. I may need to do other things to keep everyone safe okay? But we'll see." She spotted the munchkin's mom coming up the walk and grinned, "remember, it's a secret."

"Okay!" And off she went.

Well then. She was betting it was only going to be a few hours before the sheriff's office got calls about corrupting the children or something but it had been fun! Show her some magic tricks indeed...all the tricks she knew weren't good for kids in a world like this one.

It was barely past school letting out so she decided to hang around and escort EVERYONE who wanted to cross the street. Why not after all? It was a SERIOUS job and such.

Wheelsy. Had to love it huh?

Comments

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Good. I like that about you." He nodded.They would deal, or he'd step in. And he was totally going to let her chase them into running.

"My desk is the worst place t'put anything." It was a blackhole for paperwork.

[noteasytobepink]

"One of many traits I hope," she chuckled. "Hate to think I'm only attractive for my tendency to not take beta position." Mr. Creed had taught her better than that but she at least was known for other things! HONEST!

"It'll be alright, I know where I put it!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Oh, y'know there's all sorts of things I like about you," he drawled with a warm smile. She'd won him over with everything, even the stuff he still thought was crazy or weird.

"But it ain't your signature that needs t'be on it." And his wouldn't get there with it lost in the mire. "Just remember about it, 'cause you know I'll forget."

[noteasytobepink]

"Oh good!" she laughed. "Hate to think you were just putting up with me out of kindness..." she teased and snagged another sip of his drink before the plates arrived.

"I'll fish it out when we get back, promise, and then I'll hand deliver it to the ranger service alright? Seems like a good last hour of shift!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

The sizzling fajitas made him grin, and he pulled his elbows back from the table so that the skillets could be set down.

"I put up with a lot of people, but you're not one of 'em," he informed her. It didn't count as 'putting up with' when you were damn happy to have a person around.

"That sounds like a plan. I like it."

[noteasytobepink]

""Well, you're an elected official babe," she chuckled, happily leaning back as well as the space on their table disappeared. "That means everyone knows your name and where to find you." It helped that he was a town hero too, it made him approachable!

Even by crazies.

"I'll do that then!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"I won that on my good looks an' charm," he informed her smugly. Polishing off his drink, he signalled their waiter for another one before he got down to the business of loading up a tortilla with meat.

"Good, an' with that settled we don't have to talk about work anymore." There was food to be had!

[noteasytobepink]

"And your tenacity," she teased. "By sticking to your guns, pulling through, being a hero, and then coming back to Wheelsy? Yeah, I don't anyone can compete with your elected spot for at least a few more years. Hard to neat down a town favorite in elections." And he probably wouldn't have to lift a finger over things like making vote for me buttons and posters!

"Hmmm, what would you rather talk about babe?" she teased. "I just started at your place, work's kinda on my mind."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Yeah, I think I can milk it for another election or two," he replied, leaning back in mock 'at ease'-ness. In truth, though, it was good to have that kind of confidence in him. As much as he was uncomfortable being called a 'hero', being appreciated by his town enough that they kept him around was a great feeling.

"I dunno. I guess if you wanna talk work we can talk work. Some people just don't always like to, that's all." Bill didn't mind talking about the Job, he rather liked it, so he was happy to keep on about it.

"Just, not the paperwork stuff."

[noteasytobepink]

"Resting on your laurels babe? Then what, you end up saving town again just to beat out the competition?" she chuckled, leaning back so she could set her feet in his lap properly. "And as a good girlfriend I'll help..."

"Dunno, don't have much to talk about yet. I think I made Frank swallow his tongue earlier but that's normal." She chuckled and snapped into a bit of grilled pepper.

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Then I go back to relyin' on my good looks an' charm." Duh, Clarice. Talk about a fool proof plan, right?

"What'd you do to him today?" he asked, fumbling with a tortilla. He didn't eat a lot of Mexican food, okay!

[noteasytobepink]

"And I play jealous girlfriend, right right..." she laughed.

"I just checked my uniform after his comment, that's all. Slowly." best to tell him the teasing she'd done? Sort of. "And the uniform pants are cut well enough for running, there's that at least?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Long as you don't stick no one, that's fine," he laughed.

"So you were just flirtin' with him," Bill said, giving her a Look.

[noteasytobepink]

"I haven't stuck anyone in ages but you!" She laughed. Why not!

"Nope. I was moving slow, and concentrating on wearing the uniform properly, I just move better than most and he nearly choked. I only flirt with you. I stick other people who are being annoying in very uncomfortable circumstances."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill nodded.

"Good. I'd hate t'have to shoot one of my own deputies or somethin'. He keeps makin' an ass of himself, though, you can kung fu him, alright?"

[noteasytobepink]

"He keeps making an ass of himself and I'll taze him!" She admitted cheerfully. "I need to get the cert for that this weekend. Remind me?" So she didn't forget somehow?

"You'd someone for me? That's sweet!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Just make it look like an accident if you do," he said.

Taking a swig of his new drink that arrived, he shook his head.

"You sure you really wanna do that? It really does fuckin' hurt." He didn't much like the thought of her doing it, even if she could take it.

"'Course I would. Wouldn't be a proper boyfriend if I wouldn't shoot someone for my girl."

[noteasytobepink]

"I can probably do that," she admitted, thinking on it for a minute. "Unless I get to taze him in the 'last place in running' game, then it's legit!" Sort of?

She had odd ideas about training!

"And yes. Tazing doesn't hurt that bad babe, it just...doesn't. Trust me." Really, trust her. "Hah, are we a 'proper' couple then?" That was...a new one for her!

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Let's not play that game." Because his luck he'd somehow end up last!

"It wouldn't be an effective deterrent or weapon if it didn't hurt, Clarice." He was just saying.

"We've been goin' a year now, I'd call that bein' steady." Which meant 'proper' as well!

[noteasytobepink]

"Alright, alright, no punishment for last place, just awards." She sighed, heartbroken. She really did like the idea of chasing people with a tazer? "We dont have to tell them that though, right?"

"In most worlds it's not..." she admitted quietly. "But...I like that. Proper couple. Huh. So what sorts of things do proper couples do that I don't know about?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Sure, feel free t'threaten 'em all you want." As long as there was violent follow thru what was the harm?

"Well here, it does," he replied, trying not to let that quiet settle. He was convinced that she was here now, his job was to convince her of that.

"An' I don't know. Dates that don't involve bar fights, sharin' drinks, you gotta start stealin' my shirts, an' we should probably see about gettin' a pet. Maybe a goldfish."

[noteasytobepink]

"Heee, you're too nice to me!" she grinned when he said she could threaten! She could do a LOT without actually harming anyone! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

"Still think you're talking up the taser. I'll be disappointed if it doesn't bite like a bullet at this point!" TOTALLY!

And, well, "bar fights are fun, stealing your drink is fun, I sleep in your shirts half the time and what would we do with a goldfish? Can you eat them?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"You've obviously never electrocuted yourself," he drawled.

"Bar fights are not fun," he argued, then amended, "Yeah, okay so that one ended alright." Great, in fact, "but, I don't wanna be makin' a habit of it. An' have you ever tried eatin' a carp? They're all bones an' scales, ain't worth the hassle to get past either."

And she was totally missing the point of a pet!

[noteasytobepink]

"But I've been electrocuted a lot!" she countered cheerfully. "And at least a taser isn't a collar you know? Less chance of brain issues when the shocks at your belly!" Totally!

And this look? This was the look of her disbelieving him! "Bar fights can be fun, a lot of people find fighting is fun, it's only when some idiot gets serious in a bar brawl that the fun goes out of it." That was just how it went, right? Or maybe she had spent too much time in the wrong places!

"I've eaten most things! Mr. Creed liked fish of most flavors, bony or no, and fish was usually easier to get for Kyle, we couldn't let him wander far when we're on the run."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Collar?" he asked with a laugh. "Don't tell me you're one of the people who got dared into tryin' out one of them bark collars."

Because yeah, he'd seen a few guys try just that, to hilarious results.

"A lot of people find jumpin' out of airplanes fun, but I ain't one of those, either." He sipped his drink, smirking at her over the rim.

"Lucky for us, we got a supermarket an' the lake's stocked with better fish'n carp."