Ah, those phonecalls ~ AU Bill/Clarice

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It had been a few days since his new patient appeared. Appeared being the operative term since Bill and the girl both had filled him in. On one hand, he was an old man and he didn't like the world getting set on it's ear so much. On the other, well, he'd always believed there was more out there, enjoyed X-files shamelessly when it was airing, and felt that Clarice was an excellent opportunity to observe alternate biology pathways.

Plus she was a cheerful, if bad patient.

It was the second part that had him on the phone to Bill.

Well, Bill's answering machine. "Bill, it's Dr. Mitchell. I nearly have all the proper paperwork done boy, and certainly not too soon. She's one of those type you know? Needs to be doing something. I nearly had to tie her arm to her side to keep her form doing arm exercises. As if she'd lose muscle mass that quickly! And the room, don't get me started on her cleaning, and moving, and sneaking off to read to the kids in pediatrics..." No, don't get him started.

"....who think she's a fairy by the way. I guess this is a roundabout way of asking if you've found anyone with a hunting cabin she can hole up in yet."

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"In writing, really?"

He thought she hated paperwork.

"Look, I know you been bored t'tears here, but I think you should take it easy for a bit. I understand not wantin' t'owe anyone anything and all, but I promise you're fine."

He was sure she wouldn't be letting this go, but he can't not try and convince her to.

"We can work out the details if you like, but I'm not givin' you anything too strenuous to start. We've got a lot of filin' an' desk work at the station, which I know sounds just as borin' as this place, but I figure it'll help you familiarize yourself with things and all until we can get you something else to do."

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"Filing. I WILL DO FILING. Just let me do...something. It's one thing if you have a week, and there's a beach and you haven't been sleeping but..." But she was used to doing things. All the time.

"And yes, writing. Then it's harder for you to hem and haw and say something about small town hospitality, Sheriff." Was he getting a smile? He was getting a smile.

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"I don't hem an' haw," he said, indignant because it was true.

"We'll get you filin' then, an' if you can count you can help me with supply inventory, too."

And yeah, that might be a small smile from him, as well, because he could take jabs, too.

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He was more than welcome to jab back. She was all about a give and take relationship!

"No, but when it gets to the point where I'm a few weeks into living with you that southern hospitality might kick in and you'll dodge around the concept of actually getting paid..." And hey, it was fun to say it? "SO we sit down and hash out a contract for me renting from you. And yes, I can count. I'm very good at inventory. If your building is smaller than a warehouse it should take me...a day or so. Possibly too if you have things squirreled in odd places."

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"Fine then, you write it up an' I'll sign it. It'll give you somethin' t'do." And save him the hassle of more paperwork, and the trouble of trying to figure out what's fair.

"That somethin' you wanna do right this second? Or would you rather get out of here an' put it together after you've seen my place?"

He was all for putting it off, and hoped her eagerness to get out of the hospital would help that.

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"If you have just me write it you'll have to just accept what I place as a monetary value on your space," she noted, cheerfully. "And then you're doomed. So dooooomed." Doom doom doom.

"Let's go. Let's go now. What do I have to sign? Can we run? LET"S RUN!" Before they got caught and her doctor changed his mind!

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"No, I still gotta sign it, an' I'll be changing what I don't like."

Bill wasn't that easy or dumb.

"Woah, take it easy." He held up his hand, smiling in surprise at her enthusiasm. "Just gimme a minute. I wasn't sure if you'd be agreeable to this whole thing, so let me get organized here.

"I'll go find someone about whatever papers y'need for release, an' I got some stuff in the truck for you. In uh, in case you didn't know it, hospital gowns lose their fashionability when you leave."

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She snapped her fingers "Well, there goes the overwhelm his common sense with enthusiasm and charm." She grinned, knowing he'd read the damn contract but hey, it was fun to tease anyway?

"And why wouldn't I be agreeable? I know you better than anyone else here really. If it's not safe to stay with you, well, then I'd be worried about what that said about your world." Hospital gown...oh, right. She'd been wearing them day in and day out enough to almost forget she was in one. "Right. You're very thoughtful!"

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"See, I thought the same, but the doc was tryin' t'make a big deal of it an'-- " Cutting himself off, Bill waved his hand to forget it.

"Just lemme go get that stuff, an' we'll get you out of here. Check out that file, you'll need to know that stuff, an' might need some of it for fillin' out forms here. I'll be back in just a few."

Leaving her with the file, Bill went to find Dr. Mitchell, and go get the items he'd brought for Clarice.

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"He did? Huh. I...don't know? Do you have a wife or girlfriend or something that might get upset? Should I get a fruit basket or something?" She called these questions to his back though as he was leaving. That left nothing for it but to sit on the edge of the bed and start reading.

...dye and immuno-supressants?

Yes, she would still be giggling when Bill came back!

As for Dr. Mitchell, well, he was alr5eady getting the release papers in order for Bill. He'd assumed Clarice would jump at the chance to leave.

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Bill heard her question, but kept going as if he hadn't.

He came back with a Wheelsy sheriff's department duffel bag and stopped by Mitchell's office for Clarice's paperwork.

"She's checkin' out," Bill said when he stepped into the doctor's office. "What did you need before we go?"

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Ah, she was going to take that as a 'Yes' then and react accordingly. Which meant, generally, behaving? She'd still tease but she would probably try to rein in the overt cute guy comments?

Dr. Mitchell looked up from her desk and nodded. "Her signatures on these, your signature as her caretaker, and to get her prescriptions ready. I already called to the pharmacy department, so that should be long. You sure you're ready for this?"

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Bill reached out to take the forms and sighed.

"I wish you'd stop makin' so much of this. It ain't nothin' to raise a fuss over."

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"To put it bluntly, Bill, you're screwed." Because Clarice was NOT anything like Starla. Not at all. "But it'll be funny to watch you dealing and adjusting." He helpfully turned pages and indicated where each signature needed to go.

"When you get to the point of tearing your hair out or just staring blankly at walls come back and talk to me?"

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"I'll be sure an' do that," Bill replied, voice dripping with annoyance.

Gathering the papers after they were signed, Bill headed for the door.

"We'll talk to you later, doc."

Tossing off a wave over his shoulder, Bill left with a muttered, "Old fart."

In Clarice's room, Bill turned the duffle bag over to her.

"Just about set. You'll need to sign a few things, an' we'll have t'make a stop down at the pharmacy."

Scratching his ear, Bill nodded to the bag.

"I uh, I don't know how well it'll fit an' all, but one of my deputy's wives put that together for you. She said you outta have all you'll need for a bit. Toiletries an' such."

Coughing to dispel embarrassment, Bill stepped back towards the door.

"I'll be out in the hall when you're ready."

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"See you in, let's say three days, to check on that shoulder? She can come alone, that's fine as long as you trust her." Dr. Mitchell offered happily. "Not deaf!" Just to keep the man on his toes.

He remembered being that touchy once!

Clarice seemed...far more interested in the paperwork than the duffel actually. She read it over before she even moved an inch from the bed, signing where appropriate. Only then did she riffle through the bag.

...hunh.

Okay.

The sun dress wasn't her style, the underwear fit funny, the bra was too small, and well...

She made do. Made do with the sports bra that was probably meant to be a PJ top. That, the sun dress that had a full enough skirt that she was sure her legs could move quick, a quick brush of her hair (as best she could manage one handed) an she felt a little more human?

The dress was yellow and blue polka dots. Not exactly good colors on her but hey? "I'll have to thank her." She slipped to the door and stuck her head out. "Could you, the lovely man with two good hands, help me get this ponytail holder in my hair?"

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Bill stood outside the door, rocking on his heels and waiting.

Straighteutning up when she opened the door, he looked down at her and the hairband she was holding.

"Uh... sure?"

He's try to, at least."

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"It isn't hard. Just wrap it like you would a rubber band around a bunch of wires or something. Tight." She turned her back to him and held the elastic band over her shoulder. "At least this dress doesn't need to be zipped from behind? It's just...she's built different than me, wider shoulders less, yeah. That means my hair will keep getting caught in the straps as they slide unless it's contained." Contaaaained!

"Is it a big deal if I can get my boots back? These flip flop things are...too small and you probably don't want me barefoot in public?" Her boots probably hadn't been cut away with her dress? THEY WERE GOOD BOOTS!

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With it explained that way Bill was able to figure out the hair tying. He was careful not to pull it too hard, and it wasn't the straightest ponytail the world's ever seen, but it was serviceable?

"We'll ask the nurse's desk, I'm pretty sure they're the one's who keep people's stuff, so they might have 'em. I got your spikey things down at the station."

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Straight didn't bother her right now since with one arm immobilized she was a bit asymmetrical in the first place! "Thanks!" she bobbed her head around a bit making sure it stayed then fell in beside Bill.

"They're just throwing spikes, not spikey things." She laughed happily. "Some metal, some wood, but all pretty heavy. Sorry you had to cart it around."

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Bill navigated the familiar hallways easily, leading them towards the nurses station.

"Whatever they are. All I know is they're pointy, an' I'm gonna ask you now not t'let Rudy play with 'em."

The hapless deputy had already poked himself once messing around with the things, which is why they were now in the cage.

They made it to the nurse's desk, and Bill asked about Clarice's stuff.

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"No letting kids play with them, yes sir."

The nurse's eyes practically lit up when he arrived with Clarice. Maybe it was the innate 'gossip' sensor going off, or maybe she just liked Bill, but she was more than happy to help. More than happy. "Well, let's see. Creed Creed...ah, yes, some nice boots, and some silk remnants?"

"Ouch," Clarice winced. "Used to be a dress."

"Hmmm-mmm," The woman's eyes slid to Clarice, obviously wondering now what kind of dress it could have been.

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"Rudy's a deputy," he said, chuckling.

Bill put on a smile for the nurse, unsure of the motive for hers.

Looking at what she gave Clarice, Bill held up the paperwork he had.

"Can I leave this with you? Or am I givin' it to someone?"

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"Kid, deputy, still poked himself on an obvious weapon." she pointed . As for the belongings, well a pair of nice, worn boots more suited to a renfaire than a girl in sun dress and...some tatters of green silk (blood stained) attached to a thick, leather collar by rivets. Well then. Alas poor dress. Alas. Clarice was taking her belongings, tucking the silk remains in the duffel, and sitting on a chair to put her boots on?

"I'll take them and make sure everything is filed properly. Will you be needing a payment deferment form?" Ah, yes, disapproving look toward Clarice!

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Bill glanced back at Clarice, then took a side step to block her from the nurses view, and so his back was to Clarice.

His voice dropped several notches, and he scratched at his chin as another tactic.

"Listen, Anne, we're just gonna settle that later on. Doc Mitchell already knows the score, an' if anything comes up about it you know y'all can just reach me at the station."

Bill rarely used his position or his popularity to advantage, but now seemed a good time for it.