Wheelsy AU ~ Bad nights

[noteasytobepink]

The scream was probably a little unsettling. Ringing out sudden and piercing in the night. The walls of the house and blankets over her head did little muffle it as she thrashed. Nightmares. She had them most nights but she usually managed to bite her tongue...

...today had been bad though. She'd started physical therapy for her arm, wore herself out, couldn't wake up as easily as she tended to. How she hated being broken and weak. It was bad for her mental state and brought on more nightmares.

"No NO NO NO NO NO!" Each word was accompanied by the thick thump of her fists on the bed as she worked to tear herself free from the past and finally ended up tossing herself straight off the bed with a firm 'thunk'. The jarring of her shoulder helped yank her free of sleep until finally, gasping, she was awake and shaking, nearly in shock.

Coffee. Caffeine. Something to keep her awake. She was NOT going back to sleep again after that.

That decided she stumbled down the hall to slump, shaking and exhausted, at the table. "Hell..." she muttered, thunking her forehead on the cool surface.

Comments

[noteasytobepink]

"Nightmares? Yeah. Most nights. Usually just the wake up and don't go back to sleep kind though. The screaming ones, maybe once a month? Less if things are quiet." She rolled her good shoulder in an odd shrug given that she was half laying on the table.

"No, I just...was tired I think. Couldn't wake up."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

"Most nights? That's gotta pretty rough."

There was a period when he had the same problem; he doesn't think he'd of managed if it had continued on like that.

Eyes flicking to the awkward movement she made, he asked, "How's the shoulder an' ribs?"

At least there was something he could do for physical hurt, like get her aspirin, or some ice.

[noteasytobepink]

"...you get used to it." She wasn't lying about that. The only times she could remember getting a decent nights sleep was when she was cuddled up against someone she TRUSTED to protect her or when she was sick and hurt. "Everyone I knew had them." It was just...life.

"Huh? Oh." She...hadn't thought about it. "Achey? I landed on my shoulder."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

Bill rested his bare forearm on the table, thumb fiddling with the edge of a placemat as he tried to come up with something to say.

"I'm sure it don't count for much, but you are safe here, now. Ain't nothin' from that life gonna turn up here."

He looked over at her, and tried to offer a slim smile.

Lifting his arm from the table, he sat back in his chair in preparation to get up.

"I can get you some Tylenol or somethin', if you wanted it."

[noteasytobepink]

"You can't promise that Bill. After all, I showed up." But it was a quiet place, she'd give it that at least. Restful meant...time to deal with issues. And issues were never pretty.

Far better to keep moving. Keep fighting.

"...one of the pain pills? Just one. I stuck them up with the cans on the shelf." Because she hated them and didn't want to use them but maybe she'd get back to sleep if she did?

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

He frowned, and could think of no argument.

It was true, she'd ended up here, so who knew what might follow, but it was also true being here meant she'd escaped that place, and so maybe this is where she'd find peace.

He could only hope.

"I'll go an' get that."

Standing up, he retrieved a pill for her and a glass of water, setting them down on the table beside her.

"Might help you sleep, too."

[noteasytobepink]

She...wasn't wired for peace. Like any soldier in a long war, she'd lose her purpose. A break was fine. A break prevented breaking. True, everlasting peace though? She didn't know.

"Thank you Bill," she reached out, spinning the pill with her fingertips on the table. She wasn't certain she actually wanted to take it. "That had occurred to me. It's talking myself into taking it that's the issue."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

"Sleep is a good thing," he said, eyes on the pill.

"An' remember you got a check-in with doc Mitchell tomorrow, probably don't wanna end up in his office lookin' exhausted."

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"I know it is." She did. It was just...yeah.

"What time do I see him again?" This could weigh heavily in her decision on the pill! "He kinda expects exhausted I think. He may have volunteered to be my psych, too. He doesn't want knowledge of me getting around to too many you know?"

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

"Ten thirty," he answered. "Doc's gonna be a shrink?"

Bill didn't really care much for psychiatrists or the practice, but wouldn't stop Clarice and doc from doing their thing.

He just didn't put much stock in therapy. It never helped him none, and was just another hassle he'd had to put up with for the department after the slug thing.

"You go in too tired an' he'll think I've been lettin' you overdo it or somethin'."

[noteasytobepink]

"I guess, if I decide I want to talk to him? My luck he just wants to write a scifi book though." She was trying for light and teasing?

"What's the matter Bill?" She chuckled softly. "Afraid he'll put you in time or afraid he'll decide I need a different guardian?"

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

"I don't think he'd do that," Bill said, sincerely. As much as he might poke fun at the doctor, or be annoyed by him, Bill knew Mitchell was a good man.

"Oh, I'm sure the doc could tear me a nice new one if he was riled up enough to do it, an' I just don't wanna give him the chance."

And yes, he was also worried about the Dr. deciding this had been a bad idea.

[noteasytobepink]

"I know, it was a joke." She smiled across the table at him and then drummed her fingers on the table, watching the pill dance. "He wouldn't. Not unless I was years gone and he was retired and wanting to just relive things." She believed he was a good man too.

"I won't let him tear you a new one then. And if they take me away I'll still end up in your kitchen. I teleport like that." And it would all be behind closed doors and out of sight of his civilian populace! "I like it here."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

Her last comment made him smile, and he tipped his head to her.

"Good, I'm glad. The company ain't been bad for me, either."

He does alright on his own, but sometimes the empty house feels a little too empty.

[noteasytobepink]

"Good to hear. I...worry about being a bother. You being a confirmed bachelor and all." And her wearing towels. She wasn't exactly sure how good that was for his blood pressure in retrospect.

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

"A confirmed bachelor?" he chuckled. "What's that mean, I took a vow or somethin'?"

[noteasytobepink]

"It means that outside sources have admitted you're a long term bachelor, though they take it as a challenge. Confirmation usually entails outside confirmation." She grinned at him wryly.

Well...what the hell? Before she changed her mind she swept the pill up and tossed it back with a swig of water. Bleck.

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

"A challenge, huh? Well, I guess I'm glad it ain't just plain sad, yet."

Bill figured that would probably change in a few years if he didn't.

He gave a smile when she took the pill, hoping it would do her some good.

"Never liked takin' pills an' medicine myself. Still gotta wash cough syrup down with a glass of juice."

Whenever he actually took the stuff, which was only when he was really suffering.

[noteasytobepink]

"Well, you're cute. They'd have given up by now if you weren't." That was the truth. So he remained a cute, sexy little challenge living all alone in a town who wanted to change that.

She grimaced and tossed back the rest of her drink, trying to scrub the taste of pills out of her mouth. "We were kept drugged, often, when I was young. After...there was never medicine to go around really so it remains a...bad thing."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

"Thanks." He was getting better at taking compliments and being called cute by her, this time he only ducked his head a little.

Unfortunately, that glimpse down reminded him he hadn't put a shirt on, and that was cause for some sudden embarrassment that he tried not to show.

Hearing more about where she came from was enough to sober him up.

"Can't see how anyone would treat a person like that."

[noteasytobepink]

"You're welcome," she offered simply. She was in the habit of complimenting, and hey, he was getting used to it so it was all good!

Ah, yeah. She sobered a bit as well, staring out the dark kitchen window instead of at him. "Survival of the Fittest. It was the only law Bill. The only one. I'm sure you've seen something like it even here. People who feel the have the right to do terrible things because no one else can stop them. When the only law of the land is survival, the strong triumph, and very few of those strong are good people. Or stay that way once they are higher in the hierarchy."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

For whatever reason, Bill immediately thought of the slugs; and what Kylie said they'd planned to do to this world, and had done to others.

"Pretty screwed up. I'm glad you're away from all of that."

[noteasytobepink]

"For all it was screwed up...I miss it sometimes. They way you'd miss Wheelsy if you never got to come back, slug history and all. It was my world."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

Wheelsy's different-- he starts to say, but holds it in.

Of course there was the slugs, but that wasn't Wheelsy, that was something from outside. Something terrible that came in, and it was gone now.

Her world, all of it, just seemed full of that evil that had invaded here.

"Still," he maintained, offering her a shadowed smile. "I'm glad you're here."

[noteasytobepink]

Was it? Was it really? Wheelsy was his world, no matter if it wasn't as grim and dark as her own world, it was his. He would miss Earth less than he would Wheelsy.

"I think that's one of the nicest thing anyone's said to me, Bill." Just saying. It was sweet, and he was genuine.