Wheelsy AU ~ Bad nights

[noteasytobepink]

The scream was probably a little unsettling. Ringing out sudden and piercing in the night. The walls of the house and blankets over her head did little muffle it as she thrashed. Nightmares. She had them most nights but she usually managed to bite her tongue...

...today had been bad though. She'd started physical therapy for her arm, wore herself out, couldn't wake up as easily as she tended to. How she hated being broken and weak. It was bad for her mental state and brought on more nightmares.

"No NO NO NO NO NO!" Each word was accompanied by the thick thump of her fists on the bed as she worked to tear herself free from the past and finally ended up tossing herself straight off the bed with a firm 'thunk'. The jarring of her shoulder helped yank her free of sleep until finally, gasping, she was awake and shaking, nearly in shock.

Coffee. Caffeine. Something to keep her awake. She was NOT going back to sleep again after that.

That decided she stumbled down the hall to slump, shaking and exhausted, at the table. "Hell..." she muttered, thunking her forehead on the cool surface.

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[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

Bill jerked awake when he heard the scream; heart thudding against his chest as he tried to shake sleep and get his bearings.

He could hear the thumping, and jumped out of bed when he heard the loud thud. Shirtless and only in sweats, he stubbed his toe on the door opening it, "Sonuva--" and knocked his shoulder on the door frame exiting, "--bitch."

Moving down the hallway, he gave a quick look into Clarice's room and found it empty and the bed a mess, then headed on further, glancing into the living room, and finally finding her in the kitchen.

"Christ, Clarice, y'alright?"

[noteasytobepink]

She was shivering and still intermittently thudding her head, but aside from that unmarked? Didn't even look like she'd popped a stitch! "M'okay...g'back to bed Bill." Said, naturally, to the table instead of him.

Yes, she was a stubborn girl.

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

Even from where he was standing Bill could see her shaking. And the head thudding wasn't the best signal that things were okay, either.

"Y'don't look like it," he commented, stepping closer to get a better look at her, making sure she wasn't physically hurt.

"What happened?"

[noteasytobepink]

No, not physically hurt. It was all just mental and emotional stress, honest! No blood! Unless he counted a bitten lip and a banged shoulder from falling wrong.

"Nightmare, that's all. I have them." A lot. "Mr. Creed says they're normal for anyone who's gone through...stuff. I"ll be okay by dawn."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

He could see she was pretty shaken up, and wasn't exactly sure what to do here.

Glancing up at the clock on the microwave, he pulled out a chair and sat down.

"Dawn? That's a bit of a ways off."

Studying her quietly in the faint light of the darkened kitchen, Bill asked, "Did you wanna talk about it?"

[noteasytobepink]

Huh...it was? Damn, she was hoping it was closer to dawn than midnight. That'd have been nice. She flailed out a hand a little blindly to pat his arm once he was seated, then curled it back under her chin.

"Dunno. Doesn't always help really and you don't need extra stuff for your own nightmares."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

Bill shrugged.

"Sometimes it does. An' don't worry 'bout me, I only have nightmares when I watch scary movies, an' I ain't seen one of them in ages."

Sometimes it was easier to be the light approach on the heavy subjects, and this was about her, no need to drag his own problems into it.

[noteasytobepink]

Glowing eyes blinked in his direction, then she sighed. "I always worry about you Bill, we're housemates, it happens." Almost like teammates, worry was a thing. Who else was she going to worry about here?

"...Mr. Creed adopted me after some bad stuff. When I was a kid. I was one of the 'weaker' mutants, held by a stronger one. He liked to...experiment."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

He gave a small smile to her, hearing the sincerity when she said it, and feeling quite a bit the same for her.

The smile vanished when she started talking again.

"Experiment? You were-- you were dreamin' 'bout that?"

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"Usually the worst ones are about that." She admitted. "I have nightmares about a lot of other things too, the fighting, the end, losing everything, but yeah, the worst ones are from when I was a kid because...you get so much more scared when you you're young." She shivered again, despite talking to him almost normally.

"Even if your brain forgets most of it you remember it deeper you know?"

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

He nodded, then voiced his reply in case she couldn't see him in the dark.

"Yeah."

Working his throat, he almost wanted to reach out and touch her, but wasn't sure if contact would be a good thing for her or not.

"You get 'em a lot? Or did somethin' trigger it today?"

He hasn't noticed anything yet, but the doctor did mention it before.

[noteasytobepink]

"Nightmares? Yeah. Most nights. Usually just the wake up and don't go back to sleep kind though. The screaming ones, maybe once a month? Less if things are quiet." She rolled her good shoulder in an odd shrug given that she was half laying on the table.

"No, I just...was tired I think. Couldn't wake up."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

"Most nights? That's gotta pretty rough."

There was a period when he had the same problem; he doesn't think he'd of managed if it had continued on like that.

Eyes flicking to the awkward movement she made, he asked, "How's the shoulder an' ribs?"

At least there was something he could do for physical hurt, like get her aspirin, or some ice.

[noteasytobepink]

"...you get used to it." She wasn't lying about that. The only times she could remember getting a decent nights sleep was when she was cuddled up against someone she TRUSTED to protect her or when she was sick and hurt. "Everyone I knew had them." It was just...life.

"Huh? Oh." She...hadn't thought about it. "Achey? I landed on my shoulder."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

Bill rested his bare forearm on the table, thumb fiddling with the edge of a placemat as he tried to come up with something to say.

"I'm sure it don't count for much, but you are safe here, now. Ain't nothin' from that life gonna turn up here."

He looked over at her, and tried to offer a slim smile.

Lifting his arm from the table, he sat back in his chair in preparation to get up.

"I can get you some Tylenol or somethin', if you wanted it."

[noteasytobepink]

"You can't promise that Bill. After all, I showed up." But it was a quiet place, she'd give it that at least. Restful meant...time to deal with issues. And issues were never pretty.

Far better to keep moving. Keep fighting.

"...one of the pain pills? Just one. I stuck them up with the cans on the shelf." Because she hated them and didn't want to use them but maybe she'd get back to sleep if she did?

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

He frowned, and could think of no argument.

It was true, she'd ended up here, so who knew what might follow, but it was also true being here meant she'd escaped that place, and so maybe this is where she'd find peace.

He could only hope.

"I'll go an' get that."

Standing up, he retrieved a pill for her and a glass of water, setting them down on the table beside her.

"Might help you sleep, too."

[noteasytobepink]

She...wasn't wired for peace. Like any soldier in a long war, she'd lose her purpose. A break was fine. A break prevented breaking. True, everlasting peace though? She didn't know.

"Thank you Bill," she reached out, spinning the pill with her fingertips on the table. She wasn't certain she actually wanted to take it. "That had occurred to me. It's talking myself into taking it that's the issue."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

"Sleep is a good thing," he said, eyes on the pill.

"An' remember you got a check-in with doc Mitchell tomorrow, probably don't wanna end up in his office lookin' exhausted."

[noteasytobepink]

"I know it is." She did. It was just...yeah.

"What time do I see him again?" This could weigh heavily in her decision on the pill! "He kinda expects exhausted I think. He may have volunteered to be my psych, too. He doesn't want knowledge of me getting around to too many you know?"

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

"Ten thirty," he answered. "Doc's gonna be a shrink?"

Bill didn't really care much for psychiatrists or the practice, but wouldn't stop Clarice and doc from doing their thing.

He just didn't put much stock in therapy. It never helped him none, and was just another hassle he'd had to put up with for the department after the slug thing.

"You go in too tired an' he'll think I've been lettin' you overdo it or somethin'."

[noteasytobepink]

"I guess, if I decide I want to talk to him? My luck he just wants to write a scifi book though." She was trying for light and teasing?

"What's the matter Bill?" She chuckled softly. "Afraid he'll put you in time or afraid he'll decide I need a different guardian?"

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

"I don't think he'd do that," Bill said, sincerely. As much as he might poke fun at the doctor, or be annoyed by him, Bill knew Mitchell was a good man.

"Oh, I'm sure the doc could tear me a nice new one if he was riled up enough to do it, an' I just don't wanna give him the chance."

And yes, he was also worried about the Dr. deciding this had been a bad idea.

[noteasytobepink]

"I know, it was a joke." She smiled across the table at him and then drummed her fingers on the table, watching the pill dance. "He wouldn't. Not unless I was years gone and he was retired and wanting to just relive things." She believed he was a good man too.

"I won't let him tear you a new one then. And if they take me away I'll still end up in your kitchen. I teleport like that." And it would all be behind closed doors and out of sight of his civilian populace! "I like it here."

[no_andy_taylor.insanejournal.com]

Her last comment made him smile, and he tipped his head to her.

"Good, I'm glad. The company ain't been bad for me, either."

He does alright on his own, but sometimes the empty house feels a little too empty.