noteasytobepink | Ah, those phonecalls ~ AU Bill/Clarice

Ah, those phonecalls ~ AU Bill/Clarice

It had been a few days since his new patient appeared. Appeared being the operative term since Bill and the girl both had filled him in. On one hand, he was an old man and he didn't like the world getting set on it's ear so much. On the other, well, he'd always believed there was more out there, enjoyed X-files shamelessly when it was airing, and felt that Clarice was an excellent opportunity to observe alternate biology pathways.

Plus she was a cheerful, if bad patient.

It was the second part that had him on the phone to Bill.

Well, Bill's answering machine. "Bill, it's Dr. Mitchell. I nearly have all the proper paperwork done boy, and certainly not too soon. She's one of those type you know? Needs to be doing something. I nearly had to tie her arm to her side to keep her form doing arm exercises. As if she'd lose muscle mass that quickly! And the room, don't get me started on her cleaning, and moving, and sneaking off to read to the kids in pediatrics..." No, don't get him started.

"....who think she's a fairy by the way. I guess this is a roundabout way of asking if you've found anyone with a hunting cabin she can hole up in yet."

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Bill reached out to take the forms and sighed.

"I wish you'd stop makin' so much of this. It ain't nothin' to raise a fuss over."

"To put it bluntly, Bill, you're screwed." Because Clarice was NOT anything like Starla. Not at all. "But it'll be funny to watch you dealing and adjusting." He helpfully turned pages and indicated where each signature needed to go.

"When you get to the point of tearing your hair out or just staring blankly at walls come back and talk to me?"

"I'll be sure an' do that," Bill replied, voice dripping with annoyance.

Gathering the papers after they were signed, Bill headed for the door.

"We'll talk to you later, doc."

Tossing off a wave over his shoulder, Bill left with a muttered, "Old fart."

In Clarice's room, Bill turned the duffle bag over to her.

"Just about set. You'll need to sign a few things, an' we'll have t'make a stop down at the pharmacy."

Scratching his ear, Bill nodded to the bag.

"I uh, I don't know how well it'll fit an' all, but one of my deputy's wives put that together for you. She said you outta have all you'll need for a bit. Toiletries an' such."

Coughing to dispel embarrassment, Bill stepped back towards the door.

"I'll be out in the hall when you're ready."

"See you in, let's say three days, to check on that shoulder? She can come alone, that's fine as long as you trust her." Dr. Mitchell offered happily. "Not deaf!" Just to keep the man on his toes.

He remembered being that touchy once!

Clarice seemed...far more interested in the paperwork than the duffel actually. She read it over before she even moved an inch from the bed, signing where appropriate. Only then did she riffle through the bag.

...hunh.

Okay.

The sun dress wasn't her style, the underwear fit funny, the bra was too small, and well...

She made do. Made do with the sports bra that was probably meant to be a PJ top. That, the sun dress that had a full enough skirt that she was sure her legs could move quick, a quick brush of her hair (as best she could manage one handed) an she felt a little more human?

The dress was yellow and blue polka dots. Not exactly good colors on her but hey? "I'll have to thank her." She slipped to the door and stuck her head out. "Could you, the lovely man with two good hands, help me get this ponytail holder in my hair?"

Bill stood outside the door, rocking on his heels and waiting.

Straighteutning up when she opened the door, he looked down at her and the hairband she was holding.

"Uh... sure?"

He's try to, at least."

"It isn't hard. Just wrap it like you would a rubber band around a bunch of wires or something. Tight." She turned her back to him and held the elastic band over her shoulder. "At least this dress doesn't need to be zipped from behind? It's just...she's built different than me, wider shoulders less, yeah. That means my hair will keep getting caught in the straps as they slide unless it's contained." Contaaaained!

"Is it a big deal if I can get my boots back? These flip flop things are...too small and you probably don't want me barefoot in public?" Her boots probably hadn't been cut away with her dress? THEY WERE GOOD BOOTS!

With it explained that way Bill was able to figure out the hair tying. He was careful not to pull it too hard, and it wasn't the straightest ponytail the world's ever seen, but it was serviceable?

"We'll ask the nurse's desk, I'm pretty sure they're the one's who keep people's stuff, so they might have 'em. I got your spikey things down at the station."

Straight didn't bother her right now since with one arm immobilized she was a bit asymmetrical in the first place! "Thanks!" she bobbed her head around a bit making sure it stayed then fell in beside Bill.

"They're just throwing spikes, not spikey things." She laughed happily. "Some metal, some wood, but all pretty heavy. Sorry you had to cart it around."

Bill navigated the familiar hallways easily, leading them towards the nurses station.

"Whatever they are. All I know is they're pointy, an' I'm gonna ask you now not t'let Rudy play with 'em."

The hapless deputy had already poked himself once messing around with the things, which is why they were now in the cage.

They made it to the nurse's desk, and Bill asked about Clarice's stuff.

"No letting kids play with them, yes sir."

The nurse's eyes practically lit up when he arrived with Clarice. Maybe it was the innate 'gossip' sensor going off, or maybe she just liked Bill, but she was more than happy to help. More than happy. "Well, let's see. Creed Creed...ah, yes, some nice boots, and some silk remnants?"

"Ouch," Clarice winced. "Used to be a dress."

"Hmmm-mmm," The woman's eyes slid to Clarice, obviously wondering now what kind of dress it could have been.

"Rudy's a deputy," he said, chuckling.

Bill put on a smile for the nurse, unsure of the motive for hers.

Looking at what she gave Clarice, Bill held up the paperwork he had.

"Can I leave this with you? Or am I givin' it to someone?"

"Kid, deputy, still poked himself on an obvious weapon." she pointed . As for the belongings, well a pair of nice, worn boots more suited to a renfaire than a girl in sun dress and...some tatters of green silk (blood stained) attached to a thick, leather collar by rivets. Well then. Alas poor dress. Alas. Clarice was taking her belongings, tucking the silk remains in the duffel, and sitting on a chair to put her boots on?

"I'll take them and make sure everything is filed properly. Will you be needing a payment deferment form?" Ah, yes, disapproving look toward Clarice!

Bill glanced back at Clarice, then took a side step to block her from the nurses view, and so his back was to Clarice.

His voice dropped several notches, and he scratched at his chin as another tactic.

"Listen, Anne, we're just gonna settle that later on. Doc Mitchell already knows the score, an' if anything comes up about it you know y'all can just reach me at the station."

Bill rarely used his position or his popularity to advantage, but now seemed a good time for it.

"Well, you might want to have Doc Mitchell have a word with us alright? He's suppose to tell us if he's already worked things out!" She sighed and stuck a sticky note on Clarice's file. A file that now held the medical records that had been 'forwarded'. Clarice was looking more official already? "And yeah, I might just call you. There was that thing at Grace's I'm suppose to invite you to but I forgot with one thing and another."

Clarice, for her part, was amused.

Bill leaned down on the desk as casual as can be while he chatted up the nurse.

"Well, he's an' old man an' all, must've just fell out of his head," Bill replied with a kind of pitying look. "I'll remind 'im, though."

Poor old doc Mitchell.

"Thing at Grace's huh? Well y'know the best Bill Pardy bait is beer an' baked goods. You set some of those out an' I'm like t'turn up eventually."

Ahhhhh Bill, Clarice was going to tell her doctor you said that! Maybe. IT was too damn funny not to share at any rate.

The closer Bill leaned though, the more the nurse (Amber) smiled. "Well, I did hear that there was going to be pie. I think I'm bringing Cherry. And you know the Beck brothers, they always bring beer." No one else every planned to do so because then the poor things would be clueless when it came to get together food. "Should be starting about seven. I can pick you up if you like, I"ll be getting off work then your place is on the way."

"Pie? Well that there's the magic word."

This? This wasn't flirting, it was charming. You could tell the difference with Bill because one was all honey and molasses, and the other was awkward dumbassery that inevitably ended with his foot in his mouth.

Bill couldn't flirt to save his life or score a date, but he sure could sugar someone up to get his way.

"Seven, huh? I appreciate the offer, but I'm gonna be busy some so wouldn't want you waitin' around on me. I'll be swingin' by, though, an' I expect you t'save me a piece of what you bring."

"I wouldn't mind waiting," Amber offered simply. She rather thought he WAS flirting? Charm and flirt being side by side in her mind. Oh the poor dear? "But I'll certainly save you some. Should be easy to fix you a plate as long as you aren't too late."

And Clarice was getting the rapidly illustrated idea that Bill might be semi-claimed by someone, but he was also, apparently, a hometown favorite who others would snag in a heartbeat. Well then. She was going to have to tread lightly or risk being torn apart by the single ladies of Wheelsy.

It was a lot like Doc Mitchell said about Bill and his single status. Hard to believe, until Bill made you see.

"Thank you in advance. Gotta get goin' now, though."

He straightened up from the desk, and gave Amber a parting smile.

"Got one more stop before we leave, so I best get to it. Y'have a good afternoon, an' we'll see you later."

Turning around, he checked to see if Clarice was ready to go.

"See you Tuesday!" She called to Bill's back, half standing as if to touch him then...changing her mind. Amber was forward, yes, but not that forward. Besides, a pink girl really wasn't a threat...right?

"Pharmacy?" Clarice asked, hauling herself out of her chair with the barest wince. Ribs hated her, ribs hated her, but she could leave now and that was the important thing. She was grinning at him. Grinning and being very amused. "So...you just kind of pick up women naturally? And here I thought I was special."*

"Yeah, we'll get your prescription and be out of here."

Her comment threw him. Threw him in that he actually tripped up on his feet and almost took a spill; just managing to catch himself before he did.

"What? I wasn't-- we were just talkin'."

"Bill..." she laughed, offering her good arm to steady himself on. "...she was hitting on you. Blatantly. She likes you. You promised to show up for her pie. She's going to think you were being more than friendly." She was...used t laying these things out for teammates? Or discussing them with Morph because it was fun to argue 'human' nature with the shifter...

He straightened out quickly with her help, then let go afraid he might hurt her.

"She wasn't-- "

He glanced back down the hallway, then faced ahead.

"We were just talkin', an' she was just inviting me to a party that everyone else in town is gonna be at. Y'outta come, too. Give you the chance t'get to know everyone."

Trying to change the subject? Of course he was.

"You're kidding yourself," She said it cheerfully. Not that she was going to go to pains to make him admit he liked Amber or anything just...yeah. That was pretty dense. "I bet she dresses nice and finds an excuse to kiss you. You watch and see."

That said she flexed her good arm just to show him he hadn't hurt her, then chuckled. "You have people's permission to invite me then?"

"I think you're the one who's foolin'," Bill replied, just as cheerful now that he'd gotten over the awkward.

The mention of a kiss set him back a step, but he chose not to comment.

"'Course, I'm the sheriff ain't I?" he joked, then assured her, "These things are for everyone t'come 'round an' join in. The more the merrier."

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