The problem with dangerous people...

[noteasytobepink]

Who: Clarice and other students
When: Off and on through her time in Bill's world.
What: Clarice stays sharp. Sort of. It's complicated.

She didn't do much until she was cleared, medically. Only an idiot pushed an injury when there was the option to rest. She even did physical therapy religiously, but given mutant bodies, well, she tended to heal better than expected. She didn't have a healing factor, no, but she did have the heightened metabolism and that tended to help when she had the option of decent nutrition.

She tried to take the down time as a gift, she did. She only ran at first. A lot, on the ground, along the mountains, through the trees, she just ran, keeping up her wind. But a month stretched into a handful of months and she took up climbing and woodland parkour, trying to simulate vectors and angles she encountered in combat.

Then it happened; it was simple, and stupid and it shouldn't have bothered her because she had a good thing here, but she got winded. Doing something simple, for her, was harder than it should have been. It should have been alright because it was a sign, right? That she didn't need the combat skills any more. Not here, there was nothing to keep her sharp...

...but she couldn't really believe that. Working as a florist, hah, dangerous stuff. Stepping up to deputy? A breeze, and...she couldn't let the skills go. Something small, and terrified, and grim deep inside said she couldn't, and that voice had never led her wrong.

That just meant she had to get creative because no one would approve, especially not Bil.

When trapped and unable to train? Go to the source. Go to the people Mr. Creed had lived with for a while that had given him skills to teach her.

...or go to that area of the world anyway and hope to find someone who spoke with fists and feet properly.

She went to Vietnam. Stepping away for a few hours here and there to comb dripping jungles, watching and waiting until she saw the proper style. Perisai Diri was obvious even to her who'd learned it piece meal and adapted to a young, flexible teleporter. She didn't know the language beyond afew polite phrases given as ritual to teachers; she didn't have to.

She did have to stand up to being tested, women, after all, were not known as fighters even in Vietnam. Not hand to hand fighters anyway. She was in shape enough to pass that at least, though no one would call her a master by any means.

She couldn't even dedicate a few hours every day in training over there, just enough to stay sharp. Just enough to know the people coming at her when they lined up in a class or in a brawl session could be better than her. That edge of 'I'm not enough' that was true training. She always managed to scrape through. She was a lot like those she trained with after all, a child of depredation and war. They trained to keep a tradition of holding their land, she trained against them to stay alive, and they taught each other some interesting tricks as snatched weeks bled into months which hemorrhaged into years.

Bill had his alone time to relax and do his own thing; she had hers. It was more relaxing, at times, than even sex because it was confirmation that she could survive. Even in a world such as this there were people who understood, as the man she was growing to love didn't, and so she allowed silence.

She didn't ask where he spent his free time when they didn't have plans; she didn't offer what she did with hers. It was the best she could do some days, even days like this when she slipped in the back door covered in mud along one side and eyes still glowing from power use and high emotion. There had been an honor awarded tonight; it was a good thing...she just...wasn't sure Bill would understand if she offered to share the honor as she'd been invited to.

She wasn't sure how to ask.

One thing was certain though, she'd need a shower before she decided anything, yes.

Comments

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"You did." He stared at her a moment, then shook his head. "Of course y'did."

Turning, he shut off the water, pushing back the curtain to step out of the shower.

[noteasytobepink]

Ah, he was angry then. She watched him leave the shower then wrung water from her hair, trying to think her way through this.

She wasn't going to skip final lessons, no, but it felt like a breaking point if she pushed his coming.

She wanted him there because he mattered...

...why was this world so strange?

"I won't wake you when I leave then."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

He did a quick dry off, then wrapped the towel around his waist, frowning at her.

"Why would you do that?" he asked, and he was trying to keep a leash on his temper, and he was trying not to snap or be angry, and he was trying to understand.

[noteasytobepink]

"Why would I do which part?" She asked, bending to wrap her hair in a towel. "Why would I go to Korea? Why would I take lessons? Or why would I want you to come?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Vietnam," he snapped, losing his grip on that tether. "Why would you-- do you have any idea of how far that is from here? Because I sure as hell don't!"

[noteasytobepink]

"Yes, I know how far it is," she pointed out. She had to in order to get there after all. "And You don't go to a new school with an incomplete training under your belt, it leaves you with bad habits you have to alter and had I just jumped into a new discipline I was likely to mistake a move and accidentally hurt someone. Badly."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"That's no kind of damned excuse," he grated at her. "What if somethin' had happened to you? What if you'd been hurt, or got into trouble?! I wouldn't have known anything. I wouldn't have been able t'help you."

[noteasytobepink]

"I'm not unkillable," she agreed. "And I left signed and sealed letters with a lawyer to deliver in case of no further contact from me. I would not have left you hanging, but there is very little in this world that can take me out, guns or no guns, plus you have my battle quiver locked up safe in the office. As long as you have that I will not be disappearing."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Oh, y'left me a note with a lawyer, well that makes it alright then." He'd lost his hold on his voice and anger and so he stormed out of the bathroom, headed for the bedroom to change.

"An' learnin' karate is a perfectly good reason to go out riskin' yourself an' everything else for, ain't it?"

[noteasytobepink]

"No, being good enough not to die under any circumstance is worth it," she admitted, drying off in the bathroom and not bothering to follow him. He didn't understand, naturally, how could he?

"Tell me, Bill, do you have combat vets here?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Her words halted him before he reached the bedroom and he turned back around and returned to her.

"Who's dyin', Clarice?! This isn't a war! This isn't the jungle, or some fucked up world you've landed on before! Ain't nothin' tryin' to kill you here, but you!"

And she was giving him heart attacks and heartaches nearly every time she did something like this.

"Of course we've got vets. So?"

[noteasytobepink]

"Not here, not yet," she agreed. "But even Wheelsy has seen terrible things, Bill. And Korea is the closest thing your world has to where I grew up." It was a sad, but honest truth.

"And what do you do with those vets, Bill? Do you send them home, tell them to take up knitting? Say they can't own a gun? They become weapons to survive, do you take that from them when you decide the fighting is done? I was losing part of my skill and it frightened me. I couldn't allow it, even here. Even now."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

He was losing her. In a deep, aching part of his heart he knew (he'd always known) that this wasn't her home. She'd never settle down in a place like Wheelsy, she was too restless, too free, with a greater purpose that he'd never be able to help her fulfill here.

He knew it, that didn't mean he was going to give up.

"So why couldn't you just tell me? Just so that I know, so I'm not sittin' here readin' funny papers thinkin' everything is fine, while you're across the ocean learnin' t'kill people or whatever it is you're doin'."

She could give him that much, a least.

"If you're restless tell me. If you're frightened tell me. I know now you don't think I c'n help or understand, but Jesus, you ain't even givin' me the chance t'try!"

[noteasytobepink]

"Because you're big on talking?" she asked simply. "You won't even fill me in, tactically, on what happened here. You don't like talking about anything that smacks of grim or dark Bill and I try not to upset you. I live and breath and think darker than most people every should have to think about Bill, and darker than you're comfortable with and I hate it when you seem afraid of me." There were reasons most soldiers seemed ghosts of themselves after a war.

They couldn't forget, and those who didn't know the wars were never comfortable with them. It was hard when the world around a vet felt like prey.

"I'm a weapon, Bill. I lifted my arm in a block and it was slow. I turned and skidded a kick and my breath caught. I was falling out of tune, nothing you'd notice, nothing most would notice, but with me it would be the difference between ducking a bullet and getting scored. I went somewhere where I wasn't the best, and I climbed my way back up, without killing anyone, without maiming anyone, without having to pick fights in bars and running rooftops as vigilante justice against mafiosos. I re-tuned. I am almost done and I would like you to be there for the final steps. If that is alright then I thank you. If it's not, tell me, and I'll go now so You don't have to waste your time worry about aspects of me you won't change."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"I'm not afraid of you, I'm afraid for you. I've tried all I can to help you settle here, t'make you happy." But things like this told him that she wasn't.

"Y'know what these vets do? They live paranoid like you that somethin' is always gonna happen, afraid of what's been given to them that they survived long enough to make it home. It tears 'em up inside, an' then they eat a bullet in their garage."

Did he think she was suicidal? No, not with intent, but he was worried like hell one of these jaunts she took or these things she decided to do was going to get her hurt or killed.

"I know you're different, I know that you've got a drive that I can't match, but what am I supposed to do? Just stand back an' watch you wield the weapon until it kills you?"

That seemed like what he was going to have to do if they were going to stay together, and he wasn't willing to give her up, so...

"I'll go with you tomorrow," he said, the set of his shoulders dropping as the strength behind his anger drained out. "I'll be there for you for this."

Now that he knew where she was going he wasn't about to let her go alone.

[noteasytobepink]

"A great deal of life here makes me happy," she admitted, lifting a still damp palm to touch his cheek. "But this here isn't all I am and I just can't forget and pretend like I can't be pulled away at the drop of a hat. You breathe, and think, and feel at home here. You step inside your town's boundaries and you relax, you feel it in your bones that this is where you belong. I've been welcomed, I'm invited, and I do like it here but I don't have that. I'm not from here, this world is just a touch out of beat with everything I'm familiar with, and I can never have that and it's alright. I understand why. It's also part of why I can't let go and I can't stop looking for the bad thing coming, because if it comes, when it comes, I'm an obvious weak point in a world boundary." Trouble would find her.

How else could she put it? She licked her lips, trying to find words, then nodded to herself, "I know you don't like talking about it Bill...but when events happened here how did you feel? Under the fear and desperate planning and the scramble that every terrible event is could you feel it? Like something large and impersonal and utterly alien was watching you, and that it was your responsibility and yours alone to see this through? When you defeated your monster and won your battle, did you feel like it was ended and you had done your part and that next time some hero was needed you might not be the one that had to step up? It's not fate, it's not some predestined path that you can't avoid, but it's a big ponderous world that needs a solution and some pick up on that and step up. That's heroes, it's the only way I know to describe it, heroes because there's need that's bigger and wider than any one person could imagine. And when it's done with you...you know." Mr. Creed had felt it; had managed to slip into a new world that needed him, and it had made her sad and jealous all at once really.

"I've had a three year breather here. I've lived in comfort, and safety, and affection, but I'm not done, Bill, and I wish I could be. I wish I could just fold into your town and truly belong, I do. There's things I want, and they're selfish and they are simple and have nothing to do with fighting...and when I start to think maybe it's alright, I slip, I miss a beat, and everything I know about how my reality works hammers home the fact I have to be at my peak. I don't know why. I don't know what in your world can be such a threat, or if the Time Broker will track me down...I'm sorry. I don't know. I asked you to come see me off tomorrow not to...hurt you, or to do anything you wouldn't...I wanted you to be proud of me. Not worried, not sick, not thinking I'm an idiot, just...me. But I guess I'm all those things huh? Because I'm applying universal rules to even something as small as this town and this world."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Her touch leached out some of the remaining anger and agitation and he closed his mouth and listened. He listened, and he tried to understand.

He felt sad for her in a way he'd never be able to get out, because he wanted so much for her to know and feel how he did. But here she was confessing that she never could, and that left him feeling... useless? Almost, at the very least lacking to a great degree that felt close to being no good for her.

It was an old feeling, one he carried a long time before when he decided he'd been no good for Starla, and it hurt.

The only thing that helped the feeling was her saying she was happy with at least part of her life here, and that she did wish she could belong. It gave him a small bit of hope to hang onto.

"I'm no hero," he said softly, closing his eyes. "I did what I had to because it's my job. It was my responsibility."

There hadn't been anyone else. And after, he'd ignored the lingering shadows of worry that it wasn't over in favor of focusing on the relief that he'd done it.

Looking at her, he shook his head. "If I feel like there's somethin' more, like someday there's gonna be another call it's only because that's my job, too. But I don't let it run me, or ruin the life I'm tryin' to live right now."

The weight of the badge was heavy, and some days it was harder to shoulder than others, but it was a weight he could bear.

"I am proud of you, Clarice. For how far you've come, for everything you've done for us here. I just wish you could be done, too." He gave her a sad smile, and he was finished arguing about it.

"I don't think you're an idiot, though. An' I know this is somethin' important to you, so I'll be there." And any more worry or protests he had he'd keep to himself.

[noteasytobepink]

She slipped her hand up to trace his ear, then let both arms slide over his shoulders so she could lean against him properly and rest her cheek against his chest, "you are a hero, just listen to anyone here. You've haven't had to run as long, or as hard, as I have? But you're a hero. I hope your life stays good and quiet and healthy for you. I do." And she did. He was a wonderful person and he deserved a good life.

"I'm trying. I'm trying not to let the things I know and feel ruin this. I'm not good at that either and I'm sorry but I'm doing what I can, and I'm not starting fights here when I need to hit something." And that had to be a good effort, right? Hopefully.

She had the sinking feeling she was disappointing him though. How not? She saw every day the kinds of women he was used to and comfortable around. That was something she could ignore, really, as long as he didn't decide to be done with her. She wasn't sure what she'd do then, or which people in town would turn smirks on her when he was single again.

She hated thinking like that.

"Mr. Creed once told me it usually takes as long, or longer, to lose a habit as it took to gain it. Talk to me again in twenty some odd years and see if I still expect the world to end."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

He put his arms around her and held her, a small frown when she couldn't see.

"I don't like bein' called a hero," he confessed quietly, not that she already didn't know. It was a hard title to live up to, and one that created more separation between him and the rest of the people around him than he wanted.

"I appreciate you not startin' fights," he said with a soft chuckle. "Be all sorts of awkward havin' to haul my girlfriend in for disturbin' the peace."

And she was his girlfriend, and that was something he wanted to hold onto for as long as he could. He'd be a happy man if he could tell her 'I told you so' in twenty years. Because it would mean she was still here.

"Am I gonna need t'get gussied up for this thing of yours?" He had no idea what to expect from a Vietnamese karate ceremony.

[noteasytobepink]

"I know, but that doesn't stop people talking. You're lucky we talked some of the older folk out of a statue for you..." she chuckled softly. "You know how they get." It was a nice change, honestly, from being a vigilante that was chased a lot!

"Even bets they'd just assume you wanted some kinky cage time..." she pointed out. His boys at the station tended to assume the worst in most cases!

Hmmm? "Dress comfortable for a hot jungle? It's more seeing us off and waiting. You won't even be the only guy there I promise." Because there was one other female student and they'd both been tapped for final lessons this round!

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"A statue, really?" What the hell were they thinking? He shook his head, bemused.

"Oh, I'm sure they would. Got smutty minds, all of 'em." Shame on them!

Hot jungle. God, he had to be crazy. But for her, he'd do crazy.

"Any chance anyone there'll speak English?" He figured at least someone had to, if she was being trained, right?

[noteasytobepink]

"As they put it 'better than a statue of the mayor or something'. I think they just wanted to celebrate." Celebrate what no one was really sure hey, it was the thought that counted?

"Not that we encourage their smutty minds at all." Innocent, delicate sensibility them!

"I've head a word or two," she shrugged, "but mainly I smile and listen very hard and watch when people move."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Well yeah, I'm better lookin' than the mayor but still, I don't need a statue." And he was grateful to her for stopping them from making one!

"Of course we don't." Pictures of innocence and virtue were they!

"I can smile, sure." He'd been told he had a good smile! So he'd smile and... hang out with people. In Vietnam.

Yep.

"Just promise you'll keep me from doin' anything stupid?" He didn't know their customs! He'd hate to start another war with his naivety!

[noteasytobepink]

"Well, hopefully the idea has been scrapped for another year," she soothed easily. "And maybe by being horrible, smutty people we'll knock the idea out of their heads permanently." They made great role models right?

RIGHT?!

"Hmmm? Your part is easy, I promise babe. You get to hang out, and sit on a deck, and be fed with the other people waiting and worrying. As long as you don't actively attack anyone no one should take offense!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Anyone builds a statue of me before I'm dead is gettin' their ass kicked," he said firmly. "I'd kick their ass after I'm dead, too, but that'll take some doin'."

Bill had no desire to be immortalized in any fashion. And frankly having a statue of himself up to walk past all the time was just a creepy idea.

"They ain't gonna feed me any cats, are they?" he asked, leery. It's what everyone had heard, how was he to know if it was true or not?!