Trust me...

[noteasytobepink]

Who: Clarice and some kids! And maaaaybe the sheriff's department.
When: Some time after the first year of being stuck on Bill's world, just after she joins the sheriff's department after her florist job.
What: Being a deputy does NOT mean that she can't lie about things a little!

"Hey, you gonna be alright out there rookie?" The snickering was definitely something she could do without. "Those streets get tough about this time of day!"

She glanced up mildly at the rest of the desks around her before leaning down to tighten the straps on her boots. They were tight and double knotted, good. Same for the slow check of her belt and gear, then the brush of fingers up her buttons as she straightened. All in order, picture perfect, and even better everyone's gaze was shying away from hers as she looked around. Better. It was always easier to make the 'senior' people in any business uncomfortable than to try to start shit. Better they avoid ogling the sheriff's girlfriend than have her toss one or two out a window.

No matter how tiresome their joking got. "I believe I can handle myself," she noted mildly as she checked the end of her braided hair. Yes, still secure. All was well with the world. And Jamie was even blushing. Wasn't that cute? "Stay out of trouble oldsters, I won't be here to save you." Okay, maybe a little tail tweaking? A tiny bit.

Yeah, they were totally going to steal her desk chair or something. Or throw pencils at her. Or any number of non-lethal things that tended to make her giggle. Giggling was easy in Wheelsy. She made it out the door while the rest of the crew were arguing over who was actually 'old'. Rather than dwell on the minor victory she glanced up at swore. Almost out of time! "Nice one Clarice..." she muttered, stretching out into a run.

She'd make it.

Barely.

The school bell was ringing as she hopped the last fence across from the bus lot, and she barely beat the munchkins to the cross walk.

She'd laughed when Bill told her it was a necessary job. Really. Cross walks were kinda self explanatory and everyone in town knew where the crosswalk was. They wouldn't mow down kids on purpose, right? This world just...wasn't like that. "Alright, line 'em up kiddos!" she darted across the street to make sure they sorted into lines (lines were easier to handle, right?).

...did they even KNOW what lines were?! "NOT SO FAST!" She snapped, snagging one kid by his hood as he tried to dart across. "Police lady says she WILL dangle you if you try to ditch her!" JUST SAYING!

"BILLY STOP PUSHING!"

"I'M NOT YOU'RE JUST A SLOWPOKE!"

"YOU'RE GONNA GET ARRESTED!"

"Hey, hey Clarice?" She looked down, bemused as one of the youngest stopped in the center of the street to tug on her arm. "Hey, my brother says you're not really pink! No people are really pink!"

...right. "We're in the road," she pointed out. "Tell me that again when we're on the sidewalk okay?" Anything to keep them moving? Besides, that had been...unintentionally stinging. Real people COULD BE PINK. Or Blue. Or Green. Or any other color. Mutants were people too after all, no matter what various realities claimed!

Sidewalk, blessed sidewalk.

"So why are you pink?!"

Right. She sighed and sank down on her heels so that she could be on eye level with the kindergartner. "Well, can you keep a secret?"

"Yes!"

That was good. "I'm only a cop during the day," she admitted.

"So what are you at night?"

"A fairy princess. I'm hiding from an evil king who took away my castle so it's important you don't tell anyone okay?"

"Not even my brother?"

"Not even him. The evil king has spies everywhere and you don't him to hear you telling your brother right?"

The little girl dug her sneaker at the sidewalk for a moment then nodded firmly, "I don't want that. Can you do magic tricks?"

"Only at night." Vampire fairy princess? Sure.

"Do you have wings?!"

"...no. I was hurt and lost my wings. That's why Sheriff Pardy had to take me to the hospital."

"Ohhhhhhh...did it hurt? Did you get a shot?"

"Yes and yes, but it's okay, I'm still alive and that's what matters right?"

"If I'm really good can you show me some magic? I can stay up until eight on Fridays and Saturdays!"

"We'll see kiddo. I may need to do other things to keep everyone safe okay? But we'll see." She spotted the munchkin's mom coming up the walk and grinned, "remember, it's a secret."

"Okay!" And off she went.

Well then. She was betting it was only going to be a few hours before the sheriff's office got calls about corrupting the children or something but it had been fun! Show her some magic tricks indeed...all the tricks she knew weren't good for kids in a world like this one.

It was barely past school letting out so she decided to hang around and escort EVERYONE who wanted to cross the street. Why not after all? It was a SERIOUS job and such.

Wheelsy. Had to love it huh?

Comments

[noteasytobepink]

"I could always try colored glasses too..." she mused cheerfully. "Make me feel a little less conspicuous on this world," she chuckled.

Home at night, "Bullets aren't that scary either..." she admitted. SHE WAS JADED OKAY?! "What do you think? Would pink go well with the uniform?" She could bring a cheerful touch to the marine barracks?

Something like that. "Hmmm, plane jumping would be on your day off babe..." she teased. "Plus they pour heavy here. Tequila sneaks up on everyone!" Totally! "And this is totally not buzzkill. He's taller."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"I'll get you one of them kaleidoscope things." Lots of crazy colors!

"Bullets are scary," he informed her. "So's being blown up, which is another hazard of military work. Not so sure how arm green an' pink go along, either. But then I ain't a fashion person." His standbys were blue jeans and plaid, after all.

"Nah-uh, see, I'm totally a trained officer. Not nobody can sneak up on me, tequila included." A beat, and he thought about her words, then tilted his head at her. "You seriously know someone named Buzzkill?"

[noteasytobepink]

"Kaleidoscope things?" She had odd gaps in her knowledge okay? She didn't get toys as a child!

"...mmmm, nope. Planet blowing up yes, anything below that...that's Wednesday really." Very. Jaded. Very very jaded. "You just...learn to move better. Faster. Use your powers in a damn half heartbeat and not get dead. Never get dead." That was the way it went.

Ah, now that..."sounds like a challenge!" she giggled. "And yes. Knew. Small time villain in most worlds, usually on the outs with Iron Man."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"You ain't ever-- " he stared at her, and realized no, she probably hadn't given what he'd learned about her history. "I'll get you one." And he would, too!

"One world ending adventure is enough for me." He'd never want that to become routine. "Especially since I don't have powers."

He hadn't meant that as a challenge!

"You gonna start jumpin' out of shadows at me now? Or we takin' up the tequila challenge part of that?" Because he could get behind that.

"What'd he have, a buzz saw? Buzz cut? Buzzy bees?" he asked laughing at the thought.

[noteasytobepink]

"Not so many things meant for entertainment," she noted with a wry smile. "Ans you never know, elsewhere, elsewhen, you could have powers. That's how world sliding works," among other things!

"Jumping you is fun!" TOTALLY! "And if you get a bottle of tequila and wait for me to get home..." she'd get behind that too. AFTER she had to present herself to the Rangers!

As for Buzzkill..."Insect wings, poison stingers."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"I wouldn't have powers, he would." Because even if it was him it wasn't. "Which still makes gettin' shot at not fun for me. And probably him, too. 'Less his super power is bullet proof-ness or somethin'."

That would be a cool power to have.

"Well yeah, okay, some kinds of jumpin' is fun," he admitted with a smirk. "But I was worried 'bout you tryin' the ninja kind of sneaking up and jumpin', where I get kung fu chopped in the head or somethin'."

She wasn't serious about the wings and stinger, she couldn't be! And yet... "He ain't striped like a bumble bee, is he?" Because that would just be too much.

[noteasytobepink]

"That's alright, I'll draw the fire!" she promised cheerfully. "I stand out against most colors better anyway." Pink made for a pretty good target?

And why not?

"That would be an abusive relationship so no, no karate chops to the head unless we're actually sparring and you miss a block! Same way you'd karate chop me!" Totally!

"No, tends to wear black clothing, blonde hair he spikes up like an idiot though."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I let you do that?" he asked, shaking his head at her. "And if my other self tries to let you go ahead an' do that I'll kick his ass."

Bill was very firm on this. He wasn't letting his girlfriend get shot at for him!

"Good to know you ain't going to karate chop me." He laughed.

"With a name like that he sounds like an idiot."

[noteasytobepink]

"...the kind who was in danger and needed to not be shot at?" she hazarded. "It's kind of the 'dating a super hero' perk?" It just kinda happened because heroes were hardwired to be stupid about personal risk? She was a little better at minimizing risk because she was a team leader but...

"Only if we're both karate chopping!" Promise! He could totally want to spar with her one day!

And, well, "Yep. He generally has a very short career."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"If that's the case then I'm goin' to try real, real hard not t'get shot at." For both their sakes.

"Right. I karate chop you, an' you'll karate chop me." She probably would get him sparring eventually. Though he kind of had the feeling she'd kick his ass.

"Not exactly the kind of name that gets you famous."

[noteasytobepink]

"Awww, where's the fun in that?" she teased.

But yes, they could totally spar! She wouldn't kick his ass! No one learned that way! "Deal, mutual chopping!" He was in for it now?

"...nope. Still, back to the main point, he's taller than I am."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Gettin' shot is not fun." he drawled at her, shaking his head bemused.

It took him a moment to remember what the main point had been about after the long tangent. Oh, right, buzz kill!

"Well I wasn't referrin' to the guy with the bad name, I was sayin' you were spoilin' my fun an' drinkin'," he said after reassembling the pieces of the conversation. "Just because I wouldn't jump out an airplane with you.

[noteasytobepink]

"Not shot. Shot at." BECAUSE HIS GIRLFRIEND MIGHT BE INSANE! Or teasing. She could very well be teasing by the grin.

"Well, I happen to know you own a blender," she grinned, assembling another portion of lunch, "it's next to the crock pot in the cabinet. Limes, salt, tequila, ice, mixer and hey we can have a magarita night! Promise!" It'd be fun!

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"You're a little bit scary, you know that?" he confided to her. Because he couldn't ever be sure that she was actually teasing about some of this stuff or not!

"Alright, so I'm likin' this idea." It sounded like fun! Especially because it meant she could join him. It was never fun drinking alone! Even with company.

[noteasytobepink]

"Only a little? I must be slipping..." she mused.

And hey, margarita night! "I like it too. What goes with a night of margaritas? Dancing in the livingroom?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

He laughed to that. "Well don't go tryin' to prove nothin', alright?" Because in truth, she was more than a little scary in some ways already.

"Hmm, I could do dancin'. Or other stuff." Because they'd already found out how fun drunken nights could be, hadn't they?

[noteasytobepink]

"Weirdly enough it doesn't take much to prove things here. Just being able to outrun someone or arm wrestle seems to do it..." SO WEIRD!

"Dancing or other stuff?" she teased. "Should I ask or let you plot evil?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"An those things are perfectly fine. 'Long as what you're doin' don't involve pointy sticks or tazing folk."

Giving a low chuckle, he shrugged. "Evil? Never."

[noteasytobepink]

"I have to keep in practice with my pointy sticks!" she protested. "But I do that out om the woods after my morning runs. All safe and far away, promise." Sure, her main quiver was still locked up at the precinct, but that didn't stop anyone now did it?

"Always evil. You and your plotty ways..." she teased.

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Practicin' is fine, as long as it ain't on other people or my deputies." Or him, but that wasn't really a worry.

"Hmm, that mean you don't like me plottin'?"

[noteasytobepink]

"One of these days I'll need to find a sparring partner," she teased. "Have to stay to form...just don't think anyone in town is up to my standard. Mind if we pop over to Korea every once in a while?" IT'D BE FUN!

"Nah, you're cute when you plot."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Korea is a crazy place. I'd prefer it if you went t'Japan or China. Maybe Hollywood, see if Chuck Norris needs someone t'spar with." Bill was sure that Clarice could actually take Chuck Norris, which was both scary and awesome.

He smirked at another cute compliment and smugly asked, "Is there any time I ain't cute?"

[noteasytobepink]

"Well, my 'form' is kind of nitty gritty and lacks the 'honor' of Japanese styles...I'd offend people there, then we'd have to fight to the death or something!" Best to avoid that right? Right. "Who's Chuck Norris?" Was he looking for sparring partners?

"Sometimes!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"No death fighting," he said firmly, pulling his straw from his soda so he could catch and crunch on some ice.

"Chuck Norris is just the baddest dude on the planet." That's all. "At least accordin' to folks and the internet."

He paused in his crunching to level a look on her. "Sometimes? And when am I not?"

[noteasytobepink]

"Not even a little?" she pouted at him because why not?

And, well..."Doubt it." Hyped folk rarely lived up to expectation. JUST SAYING!

"Hmmm?" This was an innocent face yes it was!