Trust me...

[noteasytobepink]

Who: Clarice and some kids! And maaaaybe the sheriff's department.
When: Some time after the first year of being stuck on Bill's world, just after she joins the sheriff's department after her florist job.
What: Being a deputy does NOT mean that she can't lie about things a little!

"Hey, you gonna be alright out there rookie?" The snickering was definitely something she could do without. "Those streets get tough about this time of day!"

She glanced up mildly at the rest of the desks around her before leaning down to tighten the straps on her boots. They were tight and double knotted, good. Same for the slow check of her belt and gear, then the brush of fingers up her buttons as she straightened. All in order, picture perfect, and even better everyone's gaze was shying away from hers as she looked around. Better. It was always easier to make the 'senior' people in any business uncomfortable than to try to start shit. Better they avoid ogling the sheriff's girlfriend than have her toss one or two out a window.

No matter how tiresome their joking got. "I believe I can handle myself," she noted mildly as she checked the end of her braided hair. Yes, still secure. All was well with the world. And Jamie was even blushing. Wasn't that cute? "Stay out of trouble oldsters, I won't be here to save you." Okay, maybe a little tail tweaking? A tiny bit.

Yeah, they were totally going to steal her desk chair or something. Or throw pencils at her. Or any number of non-lethal things that tended to make her giggle. Giggling was easy in Wheelsy. She made it out the door while the rest of the crew were arguing over who was actually 'old'. Rather than dwell on the minor victory she glanced up at swore. Almost out of time! "Nice one Clarice..." she muttered, stretching out into a run.

She'd make it.

Barely.

The school bell was ringing as she hopped the last fence across from the bus lot, and she barely beat the munchkins to the cross walk.

She'd laughed when Bill told her it was a necessary job. Really. Cross walks were kinda self explanatory and everyone in town knew where the crosswalk was. They wouldn't mow down kids on purpose, right? This world just...wasn't like that. "Alright, line 'em up kiddos!" she darted across the street to make sure they sorted into lines (lines were easier to handle, right?).

...did they even KNOW what lines were?! "NOT SO FAST!" She snapped, snagging one kid by his hood as he tried to dart across. "Police lady says she WILL dangle you if you try to ditch her!" JUST SAYING!

"BILLY STOP PUSHING!"

"I'M NOT YOU'RE JUST A SLOWPOKE!"

"YOU'RE GONNA GET ARRESTED!"

"Hey, hey Clarice?" She looked down, bemused as one of the youngest stopped in the center of the street to tug on her arm. "Hey, my brother says you're not really pink! No people are really pink!"

...right. "We're in the road," she pointed out. "Tell me that again when we're on the sidewalk okay?" Anything to keep them moving? Besides, that had been...unintentionally stinging. Real people COULD BE PINK. Or Blue. Or Green. Or any other color. Mutants were people too after all, no matter what various realities claimed!

Sidewalk, blessed sidewalk.

"So why are you pink?!"

Right. She sighed and sank down on her heels so that she could be on eye level with the kindergartner. "Well, can you keep a secret?"

"Yes!"

That was good. "I'm only a cop during the day," she admitted.

"So what are you at night?"

"A fairy princess. I'm hiding from an evil king who took away my castle so it's important you don't tell anyone okay?"

"Not even my brother?"

"Not even him. The evil king has spies everywhere and you don't him to hear you telling your brother right?"

The little girl dug her sneaker at the sidewalk for a moment then nodded firmly, "I don't want that. Can you do magic tricks?"

"Only at night." Vampire fairy princess? Sure.

"Do you have wings?!"

"...no. I was hurt and lost my wings. That's why Sheriff Pardy had to take me to the hospital."

"Ohhhhhhh...did it hurt? Did you get a shot?"

"Yes and yes, but it's okay, I'm still alive and that's what matters right?"

"If I'm really good can you show me some magic? I can stay up until eight on Fridays and Saturdays!"

"We'll see kiddo. I may need to do other things to keep everyone safe okay? But we'll see." She spotted the munchkin's mom coming up the walk and grinned, "remember, it's a secret."

"Okay!" And off she went.

Well then. She was betting it was only going to be a few hours before the sheriff's office got calls about corrupting the children or something but it had been fun! Show her some magic tricks indeed...all the tricks she knew weren't good for kids in a world like this one.

It was barely past school letting out so she decided to hang around and escort EVERYONE who wanted to cross the street. Why not after all? It was a SERIOUS job and such.

Wheelsy. Had to love it huh?

Comments

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Then I go back to relyin' on my good looks an' charm." Duh, Clarice. Talk about a fool proof plan, right?

"What'd you do to him today?" he asked, fumbling with a tortilla. He didn't eat a lot of Mexican food, okay!

[noteasytobepink]

"And I play jealous girlfriend, right right..." she laughed.

"I just checked my uniform after his comment, that's all. Slowly." best to tell him the teasing she'd done? Sort of. "And the uniform pants are cut well enough for running, there's that at least?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Long as you don't stick no one, that's fine," he laughed.

"So you were just flirtin' with him," Bill said, giving her a Look.

[noteasytobepink]

"I haven't stuck anyone in ages but you!" She laughed. Why not!

"Nope. I was moving slow, and concentrating on wearing the uniform properly, I just move better than most and he nearly choked. I only flirt with you. I stick other people who are being annoying in very uncomfortable circumstances."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill nodded.

"Good. I'd hate t'have to shoot one of my own deputies or somethin'. He keeps makin' an ass of himself, though, you can kung fu him, alright?"

[noteasytobepink]

"He keeps making an ass of himself and I'll taze him!" She admitted cheerfully. "I need to get the cert for that this weekend. Remind me?" So she didn't forget somehow?

"You'd someone for me? That's sweet!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Just make it look like an accident if you do," he said.

Taking a swig of his new drink that arrived, he shook his head.

"You sure you really wanna do that? It really does fuckin' hurt." He didn't much like the thought of her doing it, even if she could take it.

"'Course I would. Wouldn't be a proper boyfriend if I wouldn't shoot someone for my girl."

[noteasytobepink]

"I can probably do that," she admitted, thinking on it for a minute. "Unless I get to taze him in the 'last place in running' game, then it's legit!" Sort of?

She had odd ideas about training!

"And yes. Tazing doesn't hurt that bad babe, it just...doesn't. Trust me." Really, trust her. "Hah, are we a 'proper' couple then?" That was...a new one for her!

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Let's not play that game." Because his luck he'd somehow end up last!

"It wouldn't be an effective deterrent or weapon if it didn't hurt, Clarice." He was just saying.

"We've been goin' a year now, I'd call that bein' steady." Which meant 'proper' as well!

[noteasytobepink]

"Alright, alright, no punishment for last place, just awards." She sighed, heartbroken. She really did like the idea of chasing people with a tazer? "We dont have to tell them that though, right?"

"In most worlds it's not..." she admitted quietly. "But...I like that. Proper couple. Huh. So what sorts of things do proper couples do that I don't know about?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Sure, feel free t'threaten 'em all you want." As long as there was violent follow thru what was the harm?

"Well here, it does," he replied, trying not to let that quiet settle. He was convinced that she was here now, his job was to convince her of that.

"An' I don't know. Dates that don't involve bar fights, sharin' drinks, you gotta start stealin' my shirts, an' we should probably see about gettin' a pet. Maybe a goldfish."

[noteasytobepink]

"Heee, you're too nice to me!" she grinned when he said she could threaten! She could do a LOT without actually harming anyone! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

"Still think you're talking up the taser. I'll be disappointed if it doesn't bite like a bullet at this point!" TOTALLY!

And, well, "bar fights are fun, stealing your drink is fun, I sleep in your shirts half the time and what would we do with a goldfish? Can you eat them?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"You've obviously never electrocuted yourself," he drawled.

"Bar fights are not fun," he argued, then amended, "Yeah, okay so that one ended alright." Great, in fact, "but, I don't wanna be makin' a habit of it. An' have you ever tried eatin' a carp? They're all bones an' scales, ain't worth the hassle to get past either."

And she was totally missing the point of a pet!

[noteasytobepink]

"But I've been electrocuted a lot!" she countered cheerfully. "And at least a taser isn't a collar you know? Less chance of brain issues when the shocks at your belly!" Totally!

And this look? This was the look of her disbelieving him! "Bar fights can be fun, a lot of people find fighting is fun, it's only when some idiot gets serious in a bar brawl that the fun goes out of it." That was just how it went, right? Or maybe she had spent too much time in the wrong places!

"I've eaten most things! Mr. Creed liked fish of most flavors, bony or no, and fish was usually easier to get for Kyle, we couldn't let him wander far when we're on the run."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Collar?" he asked with a laugh. "Don't tell me you're one of the people who got dared into tryin' out one of them bark collars."

Because yeah, he'd seen a few guys try just that, to hilarious results.

"A lot of people find jumpin' out of airplanes fun, but I ain't one of those, either." He sipped his drink, smirking at her over the rim.

"Lucky for us, we got a supermarket an' the lake's stocked with better fish'n carp."

[noteasytobepink]

"...there are people dumb enough to do that?" she asked, blinking at him. Seriously? Just...seriously? SERIOUSLY? "No."

Ah, but, "have you ever tried jumping out of an airplane?" she teased. "If you tried it you might like it!" He shouldn't knock it so easily!

"And I do like your super market. I'm totally an addict!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"You'd be surprised what some guys will do on a dare or a bet. Or for beer," he laughed again. Yeah, guys were dumb, he fully admitted that. But, he'd also point out he never did it!

"No. An' I really hope I never do." Because the only way he'd be jumping out of a plane is if it was on FIRE.

"I will totally take you to the supermarket whenever you want. Just so you don't have t'eat another carp."

[noteasytobepink]

"...the guy I knew best was more prone to really bad jokes and shapeshifting into cartoon characters," she chuckled. "I don't think anyone of my boys would have taken a bet about dog collars."

"You should tryyyyyyy it!" HE KNEW HE WANTED TO! TOTALLY!

And, well, wasn't he the sweetest? "That a promise?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"He turned into cartoon characters? Really?" Bill asked, surprised and curious. "That's kind of cool."

He'd like to see it, at least!

"Yeah, I'm gonna say no. My luck my parachute wouldn't open, or I'd get sucked up into the engine or somethin'." Just, no.

"That is a solemn promise," he said, mock serious and somber. "Any time you want, darlin'."

[noteasytobepink]

"Morph is fun, you'd have liked him. Left to his own devices he has the complexion of Elmer's Glue though." But she thought Bill might share the same kind of humor.

"Fine fine, see if I ever help you practice," she chuckled. "Always better to know how to jump out of planes before you have to!" Just saying! He'd regret having to wing it some day!

He was the best boyfriend! "You spoil me!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Don't get out much, huh?" That's usually what caused pasty skin, right?

"An' I say it's always better Not to have to," he countered, and there went the last of his second drink.

Setting the glass down he gave her a smug smile. "I'm just that nice of a guy."

[noteasytobepink]

"Gets out more than you or I," she countered with a grin. "He's just another happy flavor of mutant and his gives him a complexion goths would envy!" Totally!

"I always say best to have all the skills you possibly can ahead of time just in case!" Her way kept her alive! AND WAS FUN!

And yes, well, "You are. Terribly, horribly nice and you let me abuse your stove!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"So what all colors do mutants come in, then?" Pink, pale, blue... he was kind of imagining quite the technicolor world at this point.

"You'd of made a good Boyscout. Or Marine." She took 'always be prepared' to an ultimate degree.

"I do. Which means you outta buy me another drink," he declared. "For my bein' so nice an' all."

[noteasytobepink]

"All of them," she chuckled. "All of them. And all materials too really, there's no real limit on what form a mutation can take, from a sentient island to people made of flame and star stuff. That's one of the wonderful things, and terrifying things, about mutants." And why so many people were afraid of them.

"Mr. Creed was a mercenary before things...happened...in our world. Before everything. He wasn't a good man, but he made sure that I'd know everything he could teach me and he taught Kyle everything he could learn...maybe Marine's would have been fun. I'll think about it." Because if she was here for years and years why not? at least her skills would go to good use!

"Me? Buy you?" she laughed. 'You're treating me to lunch babe! And you aren't suppose to have enough drinks to be sloshed for the last few hours of shift!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Star stuff?" He laughed. It was funny because he knew she was telling the truth. "Y'all are crazy, that's gotta be somethin' t'see. Makes me wonder how long 'til this place bores you to death." It was kind of hard to compete with 'star stuff' and Sentient islands.

He listened to her talk about her dad. He liked to. She always seemed a touch wistful and sad when Mr. Creed came up, but at the same time happy, too. Bill could tell the man had meant a lot to her.

"World you come from, I'm sure learnin' all that stuff was important. You enlist here, though, an' I'm gonna be a mess worryin' 'bout them shippin' you off somewhere." Just so she knew.

"Okay, one, I ain't sloshed, not even a little," he argued, holding up fingers as he counted. "Two, I'm buyin' lunch, but you could at least get the lady's attention for me, 'cause I'm not sure where she went. An' three, I'm already done with my shift." Mostly. "S'you who's gotta go back protectin' an' servin'. All I need to do is sign your paper thing, an' I can do that drunk, easy".